Mourning Skies

Envy and Fear

I look at these people
Happy and in love
I see the lust in their eyes
The subconscious touch
Of their fingers on their skin
Their lips so delicately
Placed on theirs
On their skin
Leaving their mark on them
And I'm filled with this envy
Bubbling up inside me
Like I'm going to explode
I want that touch
That love

But I remember

The way she touched me
How she made me feel
As if she could pull out the seems
Of my heart
Every string, my trust for her
I was all hers
When she took out a paid of scissors
Took the strings in her hand
And one by one
Snapped them
Snapped them with the lies
Snapped them with the cheating
Snapped them with the look in her eyes
When she said that she loved me
The emptiness in those words
She didn't even try

Now I fear
For that look again
For all I know is the lie
She never loved me

No matter my envy for affection and love
My fear of lies far outweighs this

So I protect myself
Put up my walls
So nothing comes in
No good to be stolen from me again