Mourning Skies

I Won't Tell You

I won't tell you why

I've changed these last few months.

I won't tell you

how much it hurts

to spend each and every day,

just wishing I could be enough

For you.

Because it hurts,

It hurts to feel the absence

In the air I breathe

and hear it in every song we listened to together,

and feel it on every speck of skin your touch lingered on

and now I wish

I could burn the flesh that your touch plagued me with.

This emptiness has turned into a gaping hole in my heart

and has spread to the wires of my brain it's revealed,

the darker side of me I kept locked up

under a series of

chains and

padlocks

but the shadows have unlocked them all

as if they were made of the delicate tendrils of silky hair I chopped off when you told me

I wasn't good enough,

when you told me you could do better,

that I was ugly,

that I was worthless,

when you hit me with your words,

the first,

second,

third time

and every time after

I remember when you told me

I was going to hell and

that I didn't deserve to live

and I've been trying to repair

the pieces of my heart

you've stolen

with the temporary sweetness

that kind eyes offer

But the moment I found someone

who filled me with kind words

and love

you turned her away.

You turned her away because

you don't believe in love,

and if you take that away from me

I don't know

what's left

to believe

in.