Mourning Skies

How I Became This Way

I remember back in second grade.

That's when it started.

A rich girl who thought she

Could push me around.

Push everyone around.

She'd spread rumors.

That I was poor.

That I was ugly.

And they believed her.

Because she had them on her side.

It didn't stop there.

During the summer I

went to her pool party.

Not one person there

Said a word to me.

I moved during the summer

between fourth and fifth grade.

I started at a new school

In hope the bullying would end.

But there's no escape.

The past can lurk like demons shrouded in bleak cloaks, muttering the taunts and insults that still linger in your brain, and while you're screaming and kicking just to break free, you start to loose the fight.

I became weaker.

Needless to say, I lost it.

A boy dated me.

The "popular" girls only liked me because he dated me.

After he left me,

None of them talked to me

Ever

Again.

I loved someone for almost a year.

But the summer from sixth to seventh grade, I was left once again.

But I don't blame him.

We talk a lot now.

I've seen how he's dealt with his own demons and horrors.

We have a lot in common.

There are many things people use as a

release.

Some, can just ignore it.

Some, like myself and many more,

Can't.

A pure mixture of blades and pills.

Praying for this hell to end.

And as if anything off the shelves of a pharmacy and the endless meetings with multiple strangers could cure us of the pain we feel!

As if therapy would EVER become something we'd look forward to!

I know they say,

"We only want to help you."

"It's for the best."

All I hear is

"Get over it"