Mourning Skies

I didn't use to be like this

It didn't use

To be like this

There is a time

I truly miss

When id turn on the tv

On a Saturday morning

Watch Disney movies with my sister

And it never got boring

But those days turned to grey

As the winds changed direction

Sweeping in the roaring winds

That began our infection

It didn't use

To be like this

I'll tell you now

I forget the feeling of bliss

Now the worries pile up in me

Like explosives and dynamite

The slightest flicker of sadness

Sends me into another fight

The overturned tables

That you left in the kitchen

Are now marked with your words,

Oh how they've etched in

And now they fill up my stomach

Instead of the food that I need

The hunger I now feel is different

Ever since you did leave

It didn't use

To be like this

There was a child I used to be

That part has long since desist

I miss the feeling of your hands

Brushing through my long hair

Dear god, I've cut it off

So your ghost doesn't linger there

But I can't forget how it felt

To be held in my mother's arm

Close to her heart

Like I could bear no harm

But now I'm laying on the carpet

My hair has gone from golden to black

Half drunk on memories

And that time, I wish I could go back

It didn't use

To be like this

Now all I do is hold my tongue

And clench my fist

I didn't have to find

A release in the metal from my razor

All I had to do was walk across the hall

Fuck, you were my savior

And that child

I used to be

Has been trapped

Deep inside of me

I didn't use

To be like this