Wrong Number (Josh Dun)

22

Sara

I just realized I'm succumbing myself to lots of notifications whoops that's what happens when u can't sleep kids

Also peeps to the fact that I rewrote half this chapter so it doesn't have lots of triggers or anything sensitive. (Literally a big chunk about self harm, it wasn't fun to reread lol) anyway enjoy and please read my note below!!

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Josh let out a short whistle, "Well who doesn't love to hear that sentence." He said sarcastically.

"It's nothing bad between us." I paused, "it's more just issues about me.." I knew Josh was acting on the defense because I was making him anxious, but so was I.

"Like what?"

I let out a long sigh, I opened my mouth to speak many times, each time a bad fail.

"Please just tell me." Josh said grabbing my hands.

"Josh, when I was 15.. I was homeless and uh, I had just escaped an abusive relationship, I was in a super bad place and had to avoid hospitals reaching out to me because I knew they would bring me back to him, and my parents. This is a lot to try and explain but, my parents also neglected me a ton and I didn't have many friends. And then the whole abusive stuff... I ended up getting into a lot of self harm and such it's just really bad.." I said all at once, Josh looked like he just got hit by a train.

"What was the little fucks name?" He demanded angrily. (Oh no bean does a swear)

"He's in jail, it's okay." I sighed. Josh started playing with my fingers for a moment.

"Im sorry I was acting rude earlier, I was scared that maybe I did something or that you didn't like me." Josh spoke he brought his hand up and ran it through my hair.

"It's alright I forgive you, I know I'm not easy to be around, I'm doing a lot better than I was ten years ago, but I still have a lot of work. The isolation I put on myself didn't help, and you're really helping with that. Thank you." I dared to meet Josh's eyes, his looking back at me.

"Sara, I really really like you, and if you say you're hard to be around, oh well. I promise I'll help you as much as I can, I'm so glad you opened up to me, it let's me know I have a chance at least." Josh chuckled before continuing, "I understand if you don't really like me back the same way I like you, but I won't pressure you to like me. Our relationship will stay within your comfort zone 100%." Josh kissed my knuckles softly, my checks reddened

"I maybe really really like you too, and trust me I'll warm up to you, but we just need to take things really really slow." I felt hard to speak, Josh pulled me into his arms and just held me for a little bit.

~~
I slept on Josh's chest that night, I didn't sleep that much. Josh's heart beat kept me clam all night, however I was scared.

My relationship with Jai went fast, once we really started 'liking each other' anyway. Than after a month he started pressuring me to do things with him, and each time I said no he would respond with 'you'll do it if you love me' to each time I'd respond with 'if you love me you'll respect my choice to wait.' It started getting worse and more demanding, he started calling me bad things, then threatening me, and then it was hitting and kicking. Each time he'd apologize and I'd go right back to him, until he beat me so bad I was barely able to walk to escape.

But Josh was different.

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hey buds this is a friendly reminder why you shouldn't judge Sara (: she's trying just like most of us.

No joke I had a thread of comments (I muted the users) talking about how 1) Sara was a bitch, slut. 2) Josh should go for them instead. This isn't okay to say frens, it's really hurtful to me and just brings negativity onto my page. I've been deleting comments that were rude or that I didn't like, and muting lots of the users who continuously write them. I'm trying to get better for you guys, and trying to be a better author, but this is always one-sided to me. No matter how much I post about it or ask people to be nicer, it's always there.

My sister tells me to ignore it but it's so hard, I'm really sensitive myself and when people are attacking a character I made up, it's pretty hard. Please if you see someone saying rude things, report the comment, I'm not asking you to defend me, just report the comment. It really does make a difference, because then they'll get taken down without me having to intervene. I love commenting back to you guys and reading the weird comments I get.

Wattpad is a fun place when people are nice, please please keep it that way !!!!