Makeup S.M.

Chapter Twenty Five

The next week

"They said it would be best to terminate it," I explain to my mother while Reese tries holding back tears.

"You're not gonna?" She bites her lip looking between the two of us.

"No," Reese shakes her head quickly. "I can't," her voice cracks. I bring her closer to me hugging her tightly kissing her forehead.

"There is about an eighty percent chance of sever disabilities, the baby is told to never be able to walk or talk and probably won't be breathing when it's born." I lick my dry lips.

"I'm so sorry you two," she pouts at us. "If there's ever anything you need," she nods placing a hand on Reese's knee.

"Thank you," she mouths at my mother unable to speak.

"I'll give you two some time," she smiles weekly.

"They said you could still do your water birth," I smile at her.

"But at the hospital, and it's risky." She sniffs.

"I know baby," I sigh hugging her. "I think you should get some sleep." I whisper. "You've had a very long and emotionally draining day." I kiss her nose. "I'll drive you home," I stand grabbing her hands.

"I won't sleep Shawn," she stands with me. "And you know that," she sighs.

"I know princess I know," I kiss her forehead. "I promise you we'll get through this," my voice cracks.

"Don't cry," she hugs me tighter. "Please don't cry it'll make me cry more," she wipes her eyes. "Happy thoughts, happy thoughts." She smiles and claps her hands. "We're gonna be parents." She smiles.

"We will be," I kiss her gently. "Want me to bring you home?" I kiss her again.

"Sure, but only if you stay with me." She sighs closing her eyes. "I love you," her voice is gentile as her head lays on my shoulder.

"I love you too," I hold her against me. "Come on," I kiss her head. "I'll bring you home then put you to sleep," I smile, she giggles and pulls away slowly walking towards the door slipping on her shoes and jacket. She looks miserable as she does everything as carefully as possible. She puts on her shoes and jacket and looks towards me.

"You ready?" She smiles a fake smile.

"Yeah let's go," I smile back skipping towards her. I grab her hand and lead her out towards the car. The cool air turns her pale cheeks pink. "Are you alright?" I raise an eyebrow as she slides into the passengers side of the car.

"Mhm," she nods unconvincingly. "It's been a long day," she sighs beginning to answer truthfully. "I'm exhausted but I don't want to sleep. I just found out my baby might die," she leans against the window. "And you might hate me a little more for this but," I cut her off.

"I don't hate you love," I brush my thumb against her hand. "Why would I hate you?" I kiss her hand.

"Because I'm carrying the disabled child making it my fault that it won't lead a normal life." She breaths.

"It's not your fault," I gasp as we pull up to her house.

"It is," she sniffs. "A-and if he or she doesn't make it that'll be my fault too," she brakes into heavy sobs.

"Baby it's not your fault," I get out of the car jogging to her side. "It'll be alright," I bring her into my arms "and if anyone's to blame it's me," I kiss her nose as she hops out of the car shutting the door and falling back into my arms.

"How are you to blame?" She sniffs as we arrive at her front door.

"I made you come with me on that tour and when I should've been with you I wasn't and they hit you," I kiss her forehead while she opens the door.

"Hey," Ian says cheerfully. "How'd the," I shake my head at him and he stops himself.

"They don't think it'll be breathing when it's born and they say he or she will be severely disabled and never walk or talk and that it would be best to end it," she explains in one breath. He stands still unsure of what to say.

"I'm so sorry," he hugs her. "Is there anything I can do?" He runs his hands over her back.

"If something happens to this baby I'm gonna loose my mind." She whispers.

"Come on love you need sleep," I look at Ian and then at the black rings around her red eyes.

"Ok," she nods. I hold her tightly.

"I'm so sorry I did this to you," I kiss her temple and begin leading her up the stairs and to her bedroom.

"I love you for it Shawn," she kisses my cheek. "And I will continue to love you for a long time after, this baby is a symbols of our love," she smiles. "And disabled or not it will be beautiful, our love is strong Shawn," she kisses me. "Stronger then you think,"