Makeup S.M.

Chapter One Hundred and Ten

"Adam come here," I smile. "Daddy sent us a Snapchat," I gasp a little making him more excited. He's not quite sure what a Snapchat is but he knows it means something daddy related so he always comes. He climbs onto my lap and watches with me. A picture of Shawn looking bored as ever, he uses the dog filter which excites Adam but when the dogs tongue comes out licking the screen (seemingly) he gets even more excited. I smile and ruffle his hair. "Go finish your game, it's bed time soon," I kiss his temple and send him off. Virtual kisses 😘 it's as close as I'm getting right now. Reads the note placed with it. I smile playing it as many times as I can. "I miss you too," I laugh a little as I play it one final time. "Adam," I walk into the kitchen.

"Boo," he giggles jumping out from next to me. I smile and lift him up.

"Already in your pyjamas?" I gasp kissing his soft baby skin cheek. "Is it surprise mommy day," I giggle he leans on my shoulder and yawns. "I know baby it's getting late isn't it?" I sigh running my hand up and down my tired baby boy's back. Shawn's off doing talk shows and taking pictures with other girls, performing all over the world and singing his heart out. His parents and Aaliyah flew out a few days ago when he was performing at the I Heart Radio Music Awards but I stayed home. How badly I wanted to go with them but I couldn't. I can't handle the kids on my own and I just don't know if I'd be able to afford it.

"Night night," he yawns as we pass Nathan's room.

"Night night," he smiles at his sleepy nephew and comes over giving him a hug.

"I love you," he yawns again.

"I love you too,"  he smiles as I take him out and towards his crib. We've been able to get rid of two cribs. Mercy and Jericho sleep together and Kaiden's found a sudden comfort in sleeping with Adam. "Night night mama," his eyes slowly close.

"Night Adam, I love you," I kiss his cheek and lay him down.

"I love you," he smiles a little while he falls asleep. I rarely sleep anymore, Shawn never calls me at night. He calls at least once a week now and it used to be once a day. And every time he calls I can't talk. I feel like I'm gonna cry and I don't wanna do that. I love him though.  I'm sure he doesn't believe it anymore but I really do.

Our schedules are just so messed up now. Tomorrow I'm supposed to go in about my stitches and I haven't at all been listening to what they told me. I'm not supposed to be lifting them up with that hand but I do it anyways. Even if it does hurt me my babies deserve love so I'll continue doing it until someone else can show up and give them love. I change into my pyjamas and turn off the light darting towards my bed in fear of something happening. I lay down with a quiet sigh as I look at the picture of Shawn I keep by my bedside.

"Goodnight," I sigh kissing the photo before attempting to sleep.

Shawn's POV

Everywhere I've been is so beautiful. It's so exotic and different from what I'm used to. Japan was amazing everything was so different and now Germany. Even the people here are cool, their food is almost strange compared to ours.

Reese has stopped answering my calls. I try calling her at night everyday but she never answers anymore. I kinda gave up so I don't call anymore. I try her about once a week so I can see my kids but she never really wants to talk to me. She always looks like she's gonna cry and then I'll ask if she's alright and she'll tell me she has to go but I could talk to Adam.

"Shawn," Andrew calls. "Lets go," he points at the car and I nod still feeling depressed about my family. I never see them anymore and I never get to talk to the love of my life. Everything is so screwed up now and it's my fault. All she ever wanted from me was love, nothing more nothing less. And she's so good at showing people affection but I'm not. I appreciate her so much and I love her so much but I don't think she understands. "Why are you so quiet?" He chuckles at me furrowing his eyebrows.

"Is there a gap? Anytime at all I can get off to go home?" I beg a little.

"You've asked me before, there's nothing I can do Shawn, everything's already out." He gives me an apologetic look.

"There has to be sometime I can go home?" I open my phone scrolling through the dates and shaking my head. "How about Christmas? You've gotta let me go home then?" I beg a little.

"You can go home on Christmas Shawn," he rolls his eyes giving me a sudden excitement. "But you can't stay at home," I groan falling back against the seat.

"That's not fair," I whine.

"If you stay at home it's going to interfere with everything and the last thing we need is thousands of angry girls." He shrugs.

"What about the two that matter the most to me?" I look down.

"I'd help you if I could," he sighs a little. "But I can't change anything, I'm sorry." He shrugs a little.

"They're my family," I plead. "They're my little kids, my babies and I'm gonna miss everything," I plead. "There's about two months before Adam turns two," I sigh. "And he just learned how to smile." I look back up and plead.

"I can't change anything," he shrugs. "When's his birthday?"

"May thirty first?" I bite my lip hoping I could make it home for him.

"We're flying," he shrugs. "And we're not stopping." He points.

"That's not fair," I groan. "I don't see him anymore, the time differences are killing me,"

"We'll figure it out." He shrugs.

"You know how much I love music," I sigh crossing my hands. "But I can't continue if it interferes with my family." I shrug.

"It's just making up for the time you missed."