Makeup S.M.

Chapter Thirty Three

"I don't want anything to do with him, you can send me a picture when he's born. But I'm not gonna help parent." I sob just at the thought.

"Shawn," my dad runs into the room. "What's wrong?" I look up and him and wipe my eyes.

"I'm fine sorry I startled you." I go back to my sobbing.

"Is this about Reese again?" He walks towards me and sits down at the door of my bed. "Shawn if you love her so much go back," he places a hand on my back. "And if she loves you she'll let you back in," he smiles.

"She hates me, I made her hate me, did you not hear what I told her?" I state bluntly. "She's gonna try to shut me out because that's what Im doing to her." I groan.

"If she loves you Shawn," he places a hand on my knee. "She'll let you back in," he smiles and walks out.

"But she doesn't love me anymore." I whisper  to myself cuddling into a pillow as I would usually do to her. "Goodnight my love," I whisper acting as if the pillow was her. There is a knock at the door. "I'll get it?" I furrow my eyebrows and pull a sweatshirt over my head. I skip down the stairs and unlock the door.

"I-I know you probably don't want to see me b-but I-I just wanted," I cut her by pressing my lips against hers.

"I'm really happy you're here," I wipe my own eyes and then hers.

"W-why are you crying?" She sniffs.

"I-I just," I take two deep breaths. "I love you so much," I bring her into my chest. "Baby come inside you look cold," I pull her into the house. "And you can't drive how'd you get here?" I pout.

"Ian said I looked depressed so he pushed me into the car and brought me here." She swallows. "I love you Shawn," she whispers. "Even if you don't love me," she chocks her voice cracking slightly.

"How could you think that I don't love you?" I gasp slightly.

"You dumped me," she says in a duh tone.

"I know," I sigh. "But like I said it was to protect you," I pout. "I didn't want to hurt you," I sniff. "I just wanted you to be safe,"

"It's only been a day but I missed you so much," she wraps her arms around me.

"I'm sorry," I kiss her forehead. "I did this to you." I swallow slightly and continue holding her. "You know why I left you right?" I run my hand up and down her back.

"Yeah," she nods. "I was just hoping I was imagining it," she looks down at her feet.

"How's Adam doing?" I smile touching her stomach.

"I'm trying really hard not to be crying all of the time so he won't have to suffer." She breaths closing her eyes as she tries to calm down. "And I want to find someone else to love my baby boy," her hands run over her bump. "So far Ian is all I've got," she laughs slightly while wiping her eyes.

"Oh," us all I manage to say.

"I just want him to have a father figure in his life," she speaks quickly noticing how depressed I look. "I-it's not to replace you or anything," I pause.

"It's ok, I dumped you remember," I smile weakly nodding awkwardly.

"I guess I should leave now, I just really wanted to see you again," she swallows. "I'll see you on Christmas?" She licks her lips.

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it." I smile at her. "And don't forget you can call me whenever, I'll always listen," I kiss her forehead. "And send me a picture of Adam when he's born, at least." I smile weakly. "I just wanna see him," I nod as she opens the door.

"Alright I send you a picture when he's born." She nods. "Maybe I'll even let you meet him," she smiles. "If you want to that is, you don't have to." She swallows looking somewhat petrified.

"I would like that," I smile nodding my head. "Hey Reese," I grab her arm as she steps out the door. "Why don't you stay?" I smile slightly. "It could give us both another day to let go, say our goodbyes?" I bite my lip worrying weather she thinks it's stupid or not.

"Ok," she nods. "We can have one more night," she nods. I lead her up the stairs holding her hand and waist offering her as much support as I can.

"Are you alright?" I smile rubbing her back as we reach the top of the stairs.

"I'm fine," she nods. "Thank you," she smiles at me. I simply nod as we walk into my room.

"Here," I hand her a pair of sweats and one of my shirts. She smiles and quickly changes before laying next to me in the bed.

"Shawn," she whispers with her head buried in my chest. "I don't wanna let go,"