Seven Sins- Divergent/Eric fanfic Book1-2 (complete)

18~ About Eric

We had been doing the simulations for a few days, everyone was still shaken up but we hoped we had gotten through the worst of it. Some of us had experienced a few fears more than once, but I had been having new ones, I had spiders, being stabbed and being rejected from Dauntless because I had failed.

It was Z and Thackeray I felt sorry for. Z had experienced the baby fear again, she cried for hours into Eli's chest until she decided to explain, hoping it would help her get over it. She said that having a child had always been a fear of hers, because obviously she was very sex orientated and getting pregnant was always a worry, but the real reason was because she was afraid that she couldn't look after it, and that she'd look after it so terribly that it would eventually die.

Thackeray had suffered just as much, according to Tarrant he had been separated from Darlene again, and then he had a fear just like the rest of ours. But then in the third sim, out of nowhere he was forced to watch Darlene kill herself, over and over again on repeat. He'd been so distraught over it that the only solution he could think of was to get drunk, Eli and Tarrant carried him back to the accommodation where he laid in Darlene's bed and cried all night. It sounds cruel but I was grateful for the earplugs Adam had bought me, listening to him cry broke my heart and it was too hard to listen to it all night.

Alyssa eventually went over and sat with him, he cried into her shoulder and she tried her best to calm him down, that night we sat with each other again like we had the first night of simulations, only now Thackeray was in the middle, and we were all comforting him.

I couldn't imagine losing someone I had loved since I was a child, especially since he practically lost her twice. They were always saying at dinner how they were going to get married one day, how they'd have a few children who would grow up to be Dauntless, I felt guilty for rolling my eyes at them all the times that I did, and for talking about Darlene behind her back to Adam in the training room.

My mind thought of losing Adam, or Eli, or Alyssa, or Z... or Eric.

Why was I scared of losing Eric?

Of all people.

But he made me feel safe, he made me feel a special certain way that no one else did "what are you thinking about?"

Eli asked at dinner, he was sat next to Z, who had pushed her dinner away and was resting her head on his shoulder "dunno. What my next fear is"

"You think you know?"

"After seeing Thackeray today... I think I could make a pretty accurate guess" I said solemnly.

"And, what about Eric?"

My head snapped round to look at him, I hated anyone who brought him up with that intention, the intention to ask me what was going on between us "what about him?" I snapped.

"Woah, calm down, I just meant you two seem pretty close, I saw him walk you out of the sim room that time, you looked... together"

"Well we're not together! I had just been burned alive and I was upset!" I realised how much of bitch I was being after a few minutes of heavy silence "I'm sorry" I sighed "I didn't mean to bite your head off... it's just... I'm confused enough as it is, I don't know what's going on, but... oh I don't know" I stared at my food and pushed the beans around the tray, I couldn't stomach greens "I haven't seen him anyway, for three days, it's like he's completely disappeared"

Eli and Z looked back at the leaders table, they saw that I was right, Eric wasn't sitting there like usual "weird".

I frowned and looked at them. I wanted to tell them, I hadn't told anybody, not even Adam, I'm not sure what possessed me, but I had bottled it up for so long "can I tell you something? Both of you, alone?"