Seven Sins- Divergent/Eric fanfic Book1-2 (complete)

29~ Scars

"You're really not gonna tell me what's wrong? Is it to do with Eric? Has he said something to you?"

"Adam" I rubbed my temples "please stop" I'd been avoiding Adam for days, he was too much now, he revelled in my breakup and wanted to celebrate it, and I just didn't want to be around him.

"So it is Eric?"

I banged my fists onto the table, the sound echoed throughout the cafeteria and everyone stopped eating to stare at me for a few seconds before continuing with their food "just stop! It's none of your business!"

Adam looked hurt, his eyes wide and his mouth pressed shut "sorry"

"It's just- I- Well it's nothing to do with Eric and I just wish you'd stop bringing him up. You just go on and on and I-" I rubbed my temples harder this time, trying to massage the mental scars that simulation had left on my brain.

"Okay. I get it, I'm overbearing. I'm sorry" he was trying to make me feel guilty, but I couldn't be bothered with him, I grabbed a muffin and stood up, leaving without a word. There was no where I wanted to be, there was no one I wanted to be around, no one I wanted to talk to. I wanted to be alone, I couldn't stand the sight of other people. So I planned to go and lay on the net at the bottom of the hole in the roof.

Upon realising I didn't really want my muffin I tossed it in a bin, just as I did I heard a voice "hey! I could have eaten that!" I looked up at Eli.

"Well, it's gone now. Not much I can do"

There was hidden meaning behind my words, and though Eli didn't know what I meant he knew they were weighted with sorrow "what's wrong?"

"Why does there always have to be something wrong? Why is everyone always asking me that? Why can't I just be sad and alone without anyone asking me stupid questions?!"

Eli looked the same way Adam did when I snapped at him "sorry"

"I just want everyone to stop it! Stop being sorry! I just want everyone to leave me alone!" People who were passing stared at me like I was insane, but I felt like I was being poked and prodded, everyone wanted to know what was going on inside my head, and there were times when I wanted to bash my head against the concrete and show them.

My friend frowned "is it work?" I looked at him and just stared for a moment "what?"

His total obliviousness always made me laugh, and although I didn't even smile, I was happy that I had run into him "you're the first person who hasn't asked me if it's about Eric in days" since we'd broken up whenever I was sad someone, somewhere would ask if it was about Eric, and although most of the time it was, I was sick of hearing his name when I was so desperately trying to move on.

"That's your business" he beamed me a great big goofy smile and grabbed my hand "c'mon, we're going for a drink"

"Not a good idea, I barely just got sober"

"And?" I gave in, I wanted to feel the way I did at that party again, I wanted to dull my senses and shut down, I was sure this was how alcoholics were made, but I'd worry about that later. When we arrived we froze at the doorway, Eric was there drinking with Logan, Logan's eyes were too busy eyeing up the woman behind the bar, but Eric saw us, he froze too "oh, do you want to leave? I've got booze at my place"

I looked at him and smiled the best I could, it was weak and almost invisible but it was there "no, we're good now" I wasn't sure if that was the truth, Eric and I had had good days and bad days.

Eli nodded like he wasn't completely convinced and walked with me to the bar, we ordered our drinks and sat on a table at the far end of the room. We didn't get hammered, we did a few shots and drank some cheap beer. Jokes were told, and I laughed but I wasn't fully there with Eli, no matter how many shots I did I still saw that boy, I still saw Eric and my friends being forced to kill, I sill saw me primed and ready to shoot him. I looked over Eli's shoulder a few times, Eric and Logan were laughing too, but every so often Eric's eyes would flick to me, and each time they did I darted my eyes away.