Lights Out • 1 • Formula One ✔️

Chapter 42

"Alyssa?"

I drew in a deep breathe before lifting my helmet over my head and taking off my white under-hat. Max just stared at me, unblinking, his expression unreadable.

"Max, I-" I began to explain before he interrupted me.

"This better be fucking good, Alyssa." Although he wasn't giving anything away with his face, I could hear the coldness in his voice. He tried to hide the hurt but I could hear straight through it and it broke my heart. My breathing became shallower a the nerves kicked in.

"I-"

"Please tell me that you're just wearing that suit for fun, and that you haven't been lying to me for the past few months." My heart was beating fast as, once again, Max interrupted me. His voice was getting increasingly louder the angrier he got. I could see his eyes become glossy as the hurt overwhelmed him. I just stood there with my lips slightly parted, unable to think of any words to say that could make him less angry. He quickly realised my answer from the silence and let out a scoff.

"Max, please just hear me out."

He ignored my request. "When were you going to tell me, huh? Were you ever?"

"Of course I was. I-"

"How do I know you're not fucking lying to me?" He was practically shouting as he spoke, his face getting redder with every word. I had my back pressed against the wall as he slowly walked towards me.

"I was going to tell you on Tuesday. That's why I arranged to make dinner." A tear slipped from his eye in response. Without thinking, I reached up to wipe it away before he pushed it back, a look of disgust in his eyes.

"And you couldn't have told me sooner?"

"I wanted to. Believe me - I really wanted to." I pleaded, searching his eyes for any hint of the familiar look he used to give me just this morning.

"How can I believe you? It's seems all you've done since we met is lie!" He shouted. Max pointed an accusing finger to my chest, his face screwed up in fury.

"I was waiting for the championship battle to die down. I didn't want to be your rival off track." I tried to explain but it didn't seem like he was paying much attention. "Please, Max. I never wanted to hurt you."

"You know," Max let out an exhale of disbelief, "I fell in love with you because I didn't think you were like the other girls I dated." He paused before meeting my eyes, the emotionless look there once again. "Turns our you were worse."

"Max, no-"

"At least they were upfront about what they did!" He yelled, getting extremely close to my face. I let out a sob of hurt. "They didn't lie to me for fucking months!"

"I didn't want to hurt you!" I raised my voice, matching his volume. I don't care that there were tears streaming out of my eyes at this point, all I wanted to do was explain myself but Max didn't seemed to want to hear it. "I was waiting in hope that you wouldn't react like this, but I was wrong. I should've told you sooner, I know. But I can't take that back and I'm sorry."

"How many people know?" Max's voice has dropped considerably after my outburst. It seemed as if he finally wanted to listen to me rather than just scream. I couldn't blame him if he did just scream at me, I would do the same if I were in his shoes.

"Only a small handful other than the team."

"Like?" He impatiently demanded.

"Uhh..." I raked my brain. "Toto, Susie, Lewis, Seb-"

"Why do they know?" Max asked, referring to the two drivers.

"We shared a podium together." I replied, before continuing the list. "Sergey, Lance-"