Lights Out • 1 • Formula One ✔️

Chapter 62

Race day.

I had been tossing and turning all night and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to fall asleep. Any brief period that I may have drifted off was interrupted by my eyes snapping open as the realisation that I might not have a seat in Force India for the second half of the season re-hit. In addition to that, I felt guilty for Max. I want to tell him so bad the reason why just so I can cry about it, but he's too nice and would almost certainly end things just so that I can do well. The only person that I want to confide in is Kudzai.

Since I had no luck sleeping, I gave up even trying at six so that I could get to the track early. I had nudged Max to see if he wanted me to make him breakfast but he just rolled over and continued snoring. To be honest, I doubt he'd want anything I'd attempted making anyway.

Sitting on the sofa with a plate of toast on my lap, I decided to text Kudzai.

'Hey. I know we spoke briefly yesterday after my crash but I just wanted to let you know that I'm perfectly fine. There's something important that I need to talk to you about, though, so I was wondering what time you'd be in? x
-Lys 💗'

I managed to take a few bites before my phone was lighting up with a reply.

'So glad to know you're good, hun. I'm in early bc your crash has given me a lot of extra work but I don't want you worrying about it. I also have something important to tell you. Meet in your driver room for half seven? x
-Kudz 💖'

'I'll leave in thirty x
-Lys 💗'

I regret setting myself the time of thirty minutes to get myself ready because as soon as I stepped in that shower, I didn't want to get out. The hot water soothed my still aching muscles and made me realise how much they were actually annoying me. I had washed my hair yesterday morning so didn't need to go through the exhausting task of wash, rinse, repeat. The pain also made me move slightly slower than normal, especially when I was getting dressed into a pair of leggings and my oversized Force India hoodie. I was very tempted to wear my Max Verstappen shirt that Max had leant me in Australia but decided against it since I quite fancy having a seat at the moment.

If all fails with my talk with Robert today, I'll have no choice but to appeal to the current head of the team, Otmar Szafnauer. I had spoken to our CEO only a handful of times, the majority being when I was aiming to start at the team. Since he's a busy man, Robert was the one that offered me the most guidance. My emotions are currently a mixture of frustration and gratitude. If this is to be my last race weekend with him, I don't want it to end with me being pissed at him because I can't keep my emotions under control.

I left my hotel room, key card in hand, at quarter to seven. Traffic isn't usually too bad at this time in the morning so I had no worries about being late. Of all the weekends where Kudzai and I aren't in the same hotel (she's staying in one with Esteban on the other side of the circuit) it just had to be the one where I need her company. Getting a taxi wasn't difficult at all. I was dropped off at the main gates by seven fifteen, giving me fifteen minutes to walk to my dressing room. I was hoping for the entire journey that I didn't run into Robert. At the moment, I'm on the verge of just screaming so I need to vent my frustrations to my best friend.

Kudzai was already in my drivers room by the time I arrived. She held a hot drink in her left hand (most likely hot chocolate) and a set of files in her right. "Hey!" She greeted, placing her items beside her so that she could stand and give me a hug. "I feel like I've barely seen you all weekend."

"I know." I sighed, pulling back. I gently rubbed my side which had been squeezed a little to tightly in the hug. Kudzai apologetically smiled.

"It's good to see that you'll be racing today. The mechanics were working super hard all night to get everything ready." Kudzai handed me a coffee cup that I hadn't previously seen. "It looks like you've been up all night, as well."