Lights Out • 1 • Formula One ✔️

Chapter 74

My schedule was so busy over the next week in preparation for Italy that I didn't even have time to dwell on my night with Lando. It felt like I was seeing him more around the paddock now that he had been guaranteed his seat at McLaren. Lando would always smile and wave every time he saw me which didn't go unnoticed by Kudzai.

"I see you and Lando have made up. Does he know about 'A'?" Kudzai asked as I zipped up my racing suit. Just on my way to my changing room, Lando had gave me a thumbs up. At least she waited until the privacy of this room before bringing it up.

"Yeah. He took it better than I expected." I said, brushing it off. As much as she was my best friend, I hadn't told anyone about last Sunday night. Some people, such as Giuli and Charles, were a little suspicious but didn't press it further. Giuli had been nothing but apologetic to me after he basically outed me to Lando. I was a little pissed off, and rightly so, but forgave him rather quickly when he started to buy me gifts. The fact that I had been so chill about it was probably why he was suspicious. 

"Really?" Kudzai raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. He was quite drunk so that probably helped." I shrugged. Kudzai looked as if she wanted to say something else but stayed quiet as I sat down in front of where she was sat.

Kudzai split my hair down the middle and began to braid the sections. "How're you feeling about this race weekend?" She asked.

"I'm just going to do my best and hope it's enough."

"That DNF has really disheartened you, hasn't it?" I could hear the frown in her voice even though I couldn't see her face. She had a point - suffering a non-finish when you're on track to win is not something you get over quickly, even though you must. Kudzai took my silence as an answer and sighed deeply. "Look. You've got the rest of the season to look forward to. Your race will come."

I just stared ahead, feeling my eyes welling up with tears. I held my tongue tightly in between my teeth. This weekend isn't going to be easy, like yesterday's free practices showed. I only placed fifth, and then eighth in the sessions which didn't help my confidence. Esteban tried to cheer me up by filling my hotel room and driver cabin with balloons after the disappointing sessions, which worked for a while until I realised that I had to clean it up.

"You better not be crying." Kudzai warned. I sniffled and shook my head, wiping my face with my sleeve. "Lys..."

"What if I don't get another chance to win? What if Mercedes don't take me on next year and I never end up winning? I'll just be known as that mediocre driver who didn't want to show their face."

"It's like you want me to punch you in the face." I knew that she'd probably be rolling her eyes. "Dude - you're one of the best drivers on the grid. You're going to have bad weekends but it's important that you snap back from that. Didn't you say that Mercedes didn't care if you didn't win? You've just got to show that you're resilient."

"I want to be." I sniffled, exhaling a shaky breathe. "It's just hard sometimes."

"Which is why you need to work harder than you ever have before." I nodded in response, earning a small slap on the head. "Don't move, I'm almost done."

"Thanks." I mumbled as Kudzai put my second and final braid over my shoulder. I stood up from my seat and smiled gratefully at her before slipping on my 'head sock' and helmet.

"Now go out there and prove to Mercedes that you will be a driver for them next year." Kudzai patted the side of my helmet and gave me an encouraging thumbs up.

Okay. I took a deep breathe. I can do this.

***

I had marginally improved my position in the final free practice up to a respectable fourth. If I can get on the second row in qualifying I will be in a much better and more confident mood for the race tomorrow.