𝕭𝕿𝕾 𝕴𝖒𝖆𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘

Yoongi - I Don't Wanna See You With Her

This is inspired by I Don't Wanna See You With Her by Maria Mena and requested by my lovely dongsaeng InnocentAngel_15 thank you for requesting!

Yoongi,

I can't tell you how many times I've sat here and put pen to paper only for it to sit still for hours. How many times I've sat here and thought about what to say and how to say it. What is the right way to say this? I guess there really isn't one.

This place is small, everyone knows everyone and knows everything, so of course they know what happened. Or at least part of it. They're so careless when they talk about us. I can hear them sometimes. They talk about how easy it must of been to split since you're with someone new already.

I'm honestly happy for you. I've only ever wanted your happiness. It just hurts a bit that it's not with me. Is that selfish of me? Is it selfish that I wonder if you'll keep her or let her go for me? Is it selfish that I don't want to know her or anything about her? Just knowing she's there hurts enough, I can't imagine what knowing her would do to me.

I've heard that she helps keep you going and strong. She helps make sure you're eating and sleeping and not working yourself to the bone. I remember when that was my job, one I was happy to have. Do you remember?

Sometimes I try not to. Sometimes I'll try to drink it away. I'll spend all night in a club with loud music and flashing lights and lots of liquor just to forget. But when I'm sober again that's when it hits me one thousand times harder that it's over. That we're over.

I don't know what happened to us. Everything was going fine and one day we just... split. It seemed like it came out of nowhere but I guess that's just how it is sometimes. I didn't try to fight it because, like I've said before, I only want your happiness and if that's not with me then I just have to suck it up and move on.

It's really hard though.

It's hard thinking that someone else is where I used to be. Wrapped in your arms, bathed in your love, warmed by your embrace. I don't want to see that. I don't want to even imagine.

I've spent so much time locked in my house for fear that I may catch a glimpse of you with her. And I'm afraid I'll crumble right there. I know I will. That's why I have to leave. I have to get out of this small town and let you go. It's gonna be hard, like this whole ordeal, but I have to. I can't stay.

I hope you're happy with her. I really do. I hope she treats you right and makes you feel loved like I tried to. I hope she does everything she can to make you happy and love you with every bit of her.

I hope one day, somewhere down the line, we'll meet up again. Maybe we'll pretend to be strangers, maybe we'll be able to genuinely smile at each other without any sign of hurt. Maybe... just maybe... we'll try and give it another chance. But that's just wishful thinking I guess.

I'm not even really sure why I'm writing you this letter and telling you this. I may not even send it. You may never read this. Maybe this was just for myself? A way to start to say goodbye? Maybe. That's what I'll tell myself anyway.

Maybe I'll take this with me and remember the good times when I'm older. Maybe I'll leave it for you to find after I'm gone. Maybe I'll end up sending it after a while because it's hard to keep this all to myself.

I guess we'll find out together huh, Yoongi-ah?

I hope you remember me fondly after this.

Goodbye for now.

Sincerely,
Y/n