Eccedentesiast - Park jimin
Eccedentesiast (n.): someone who hides their pains behind a smile.
I was sitting in the company's lounge, waiting for my manager to come and take me to the press conference. I sighed, I was sick of it all, I was so sick of being misunderstood, scandals after scandals, rumours that spread like wildfire, I didn't know why people loved destroying others so much.
Did Idols not have a life? Did people have the rights to scold us and criticize us just because we chose to put ourselves in public? Is it bad to want to be famous for something you do truly?
I have lost all of my hope after experiencing the worst sides of the industry, I was so sick of it all, no morale and a sane person could ever survive or have a smooth sail in this place, you're always hated by people, you're vulnerable, fans that could turn over you with a single rumour, paparazzi that don't respect your private life, people forcing you to speak, a smile was on my face.
Soon, Bro ming came, asking me to get in the company car, I asked xiao tao yo accompany me since I was a little tired.
Xiao tao sat beside me while bro ming sat in the passenger seat.
Soon, we arrived at the hotel, I took a deep breath before getting out of the vehicle, the cameras immediately started clicking, flashing the bright lights onto me as I struggled to move through, So I just stood there in defeat, letting them take as many pictures as they want.
Soon, we entered the building, bro ming was starting off with the basics and the formalities as I stood to the side, feeling the chilly breeze on my hands and exposed legs, I was wearing a simple bodycon that didn't cover much, so I was really cold.
" Let's welcome choi y/n for the questions now." bro ming called me to the podium, I put a fake smile on since I didn't want glory world entertainment to be dragged through mud.
" Hello everyone, I'm choi y/n, I'd like to answer your questions honestly, please be considerate" I gave a little bow and moved forward.
" y/n ssi, how would you like to clarify the recent rumours of you having an affair with Mr.Hong?" a reporter ruthlessly threw the question at me.
" I do not accept or own up to any of the rumours about me and Mr.Hong, I definetely have no relationship with him and I don't have a chance to, my schedule has been revealed to the public to prove it." I answered politely. The same reporter sneered and started asking me again.
" Miss choi, Mr.Hong updated his weibo himself and you're still trying to deny it?" he roared. I sighed as the questions went on. Not one reporter was considerate of my feelings, they just kept throwing rumours and even started using insults like sl*t, b*tch and other things. Bro ming and xiao tao managed to get the crowd under control for me to make my announcement.
" I know that I wanted to make an announcement today, I, choi y/n will no longer continue working in the entertainment industry, I'm here to announce my retreat, I hope my fans can forgive me for this decision, I've realized that I'm not suited for the glamour of this industry. I apologize for any inconviniences caused. I request all of the people to stay for the banquet. Thank you." I said and got off the stage without waiting to see their reactions, the calm demeaneor I used to fool people was now falling apart.
I got in the car and started crying my eyes out while xiao tao helplessly handed me tissues after tissues. Just then, I got a call from jimin, I took a deep breath and picked it up.
" Y/n, I'm at your place, come over quickly, I know you need someone right now." he said worried.
" N-no jimin I'm okay" I tried to comfort him, but xiao tao soon grabbed my phone and started talking to jimin herself.
" Jimin-ssi, no she's not fine, her eyes are swollen like walnuts. Please come meet her at the company" she said before hanging up and hugging me tightly.
" Y/n, I know I'm being bold as your assistant, but don't hide your pain from the ones that love you" she said sstroking my head.
Soon, we reached the company, I was in my boss' cabin discussing my contract termination, he didn't want to let go of me, but he did seeing my struggle.
I sat in my practice room with a fruit knife, I didn't see the point anymore, I didn't see a single reason for living except for jimin, but according to a million people, I was dragging him down, I was a burden to him, hot tears sprung to my eyes as I wiped them frustratedly. I chose to let go of my pride and started sobbing loudly, I decided that I wanna kill myself, I knew I was being stupid but I didn't care at this point.
I picked my phone up and called jimin.
" Hello? Jimin?"
" Y/n, I'm almost there, I'll be there in 15 mins baby, please don't cry okay?" he coaxed.
" It's okay, I just wanted to say that you were the best thing that ever happened to me-" I was cut off.
" Y/n where are you?" he sounded scared
" I'm in my practice room, Jimin I just want you to know that I love you so much, you are my everything baby, but it hurts so much, I'm sorry" I choked a sob back.
" Y/n no please! Please dont do anything stupid, please just think about it-" he kept asking me.
" I'm sorry jimin, I wish I can be your girlfriend in my next life, I love you" with that, I slit my wrist, and my throat, letting the blood flow quickly since I had coagulopathy.
" Y/N NOO-" was the last thing I heard before everything drained out.
