+ Positive + |PJM Fanfiction|

+ 88 +

"Alright Miss Y/N! Let's see if we can find your little bundle of joy! Just lay down on this table for me and lift up your sweatshirt."

Lift....my shirt....

Instead of giving the woman a smile like you usually would, you simply lay your head back on the back of the propped up bed and grip the hem of your sweatshirt, your eyes avoiding the woman's overly giddy gaze.

I don't deserve to see my baby.

I'm a bad mama.

And now all of these people have to see this.

Tugging your sweatshirt up over your stomach and avoiding their eyes looking down at the slight outline of your rib cage you turn your head away from the monitor, a single stray tear slowly dropping down your cheek.

"Aha...Y/N-ah....I can't wait to see your baby!"

You can hear the guilt threaded through Jungkook's soft spoken voice as he slowly pets the back of your head, your tone offering him a sharp response.

"Mm."

I'm a bad mama.

My body isn't even good enough.

I'm going to lose it anyway.

Trying hard to swallow the growing lump in your throat you tightly close your eyes when the cool jelly spreads across your stomach and the nurse begins moving the machine around, her joyful voice only making your loathsome thoughts worse.

Now they're all being nice to me....but they're all thinking the same thing...

That I'm a failure...and that I won't be a mama...

"Let's see here...little lower...."

I don't wanna be alone again....I was so happy...I was so excited....

"There we are!"

Opening your eyes at the sudden sound filling the empty room your head turns when you hear the steady beating of a heart coming from the monitor, your eyes widening at the black and white moving picture.

"Strong heartbeat, the baby sounds healthy."

Healthy?

Swallowing hard and holding your sweatshirt with shaking hands you give the nurse a silent nod and watch her face tighten with the same guilt Jungkook holds, a soft sigh escaping her lips into the air.

"I'll get these printed out for you to take home and have the doctor come back in, he should be finished with his other patient."

"Ah...Thank you Nurse..."

After the woman cleans off your stomach you immediately tug your sweatshirt down and place your hands on your now covered belly, the room falling into even deeper awkwardness when it's just you and Jungkook.

"Pretty Girl you have to know my Appa isn't like this...he has a lot of female patients that when they get pregnant they want to stay thin during the pregnancy so they skip meals and don't eat regularly so he gets onto them...he didn't know that you were eating well and everything...but I promise he isn't like this with his patients."

"...Can I go home now?"

Keeping your eyes away from Jungkook to hold your tears at bay you sit back up and pull your skirt over your legs as the boy lets out a sigh, his hand nervously rubbing the back of his head.

"We'll be out of here soon I promise! He's just going to give you your pictures and discharge papers!"

Lazily nodding your head and lowering your gaze to your fingers you pick at the skin around your nails and sigh, your entire body jumping when the door opens and Jungkook's father comes walking inside.

"Alright Miss Y/N, looks like the baby is in good health and is pretty strong actually. I'm going to send you home with a strict diet plan to help you gain some quick healthy weight and I'm prescribing you some prenatal vitamins you can take before you go to sleep to prevent nausea. Also I want you on a strict 4 time a day protein shake you can buy from any convenience store or grocery store."

Vitamin....

Protein shake....

I don't even know what any of this is!

Running your hands through your hair in pure frustration you feel your entire body vibrating and every nerve ending in your body sparking with agitation.

Why don't I know what any of this is.

Why can't I know what any of this is?

Why didn't anyone tell me?

Why do I have to be so stupid?!

"Anytime you are ready you two can go. In about a month I would like to see you back here and by then you should have a good ten pounds on you if you follow the diet plan."

The second you hear the word go you push yourself off of the bed and feel Jungkook's hand tenderly reach out to grab yours, his other tenderly rubbing up and down your back.

"Oh! I forgot. I'm also putting you on strict rest for at least a week and a half. As much as your baby is healthy, you are not. I don't want you doing anything strenuous like running, walking up stairs, lifting anything over five pounds. You can be up doing light walking but for the most part I want you to stay home."

Stay-

Stay home?!

"B-But...I-I h-have a job....a-and school..."

"Well all of that can be put off for now. Someone else can cover for your shifts and I'll send a note to your school that doesn't say why you're being taken out for this time but it will excuse you from your classes."

But...without money....

This day...just keeps getting worse.

"Appa, she lives in an apartment building with stairs...is it okay if she walks up those?"

"I don't like it, but I'll allow her to walk up them this once to get inside but after that I don't want her walking those stairs until a week and a half is up. This is very serious and she is in a very detrimental phase in her pregnancy. All of this information is in the packet right here in my hands."

When the doctor outstretches his hands with the thick packet fastened between his fingers you take the papers and avoid the man's now kind gaze, his dark eyes mimicking his sons.

"I'll see you in a month Miss Y/N."

"Mhm. Thank you for seeing me today Dr. Jeon."

Giving the man a tiny bow and stepping out of the door Jungkook holds for you everyone in the hallway and waiting room looks at you with pity in their eyes, their stares only making you feel worse.

I don't want to come back here.

I want to go home.

And I want to go to sleep.

Now I've lost my best friend.

My job.

A week of my schooling.

And I might lose my baby as well.....

And then I'll truly be alone.

(A/N): 0.0