ᎢᎻᎬ ᎬNᎠᏆNᏩ ᏔᎬ ᎠᎬᏚᎬᎡᏙᎬ.

"Bridal style,"

Dean laid Cas gently down into the table the white sheet still covering the entire angel. The behind made sure that the sheet looked neat around the angel, as he took a step away. 

He gazed at the white sheet which underneath held his best friend. His best friend with closed eyes, and parted lips. Dean gripped the back of the chair tightly and squeezed his eyes shut. 

He tried to think about things that weren't terrible. Like how Castiel wasn't as heavy as he thought, or how they had finally gotten rid of Lucifer. 

However his thoughts then roamed to his best friend. How he had wanted desperately to get him back. How his body was ice cold and mangled by lucifer.

He thought about Castiel's blue eyes staring back at him and how he could get lost in them. He thought about how everything happens for a reason and how that was such bullshit. 

All he wanted was Cas back. Dammit Dean for once didn't know what to do. He didn't know who to get his best friend back he couldn't just sell his soul again because that didn't work to well to the first time. And nwo his mother was gone and-

Dean threw the chair at the walla angrily, he then sunk to his knees through tears. His eyes shit with the salty liquid leaking from them, as heck pulled at his hair angrily. 

Cas didn't deserve this if anything he did. He was just a disgrace. He should have tried to stop lucifer, not just leave him in the other world. 

Dean let out a loud sob as he thought about how the blade went right through Castiels chest. His eyes were stained with the picture of the Angels eyes glowing blue and him dropping dead into the mud. 

"You're going to bring him back… You have to bring him back," Dean mumbled however Chuck never listened to him there nor at the gas station bathroom.

Castiel burned that night, right infront of Dean's eyes. 

The blonde man vowed that he would do better and that he would never get close to anyone ever again. 

Because everyone around him dies. 

He thought about what would have happened if Sam hadn't held him back. Maybe he would have been able to save Cas. Who knows. He doesn't hold it against his brother though he was trying to protect him. Cas had made his decision of going after lucifer and Sam didn't want Death to be stupid enough to do the same. 

They all knew that the angel blade was useless against lucifer. 

Dean still prayed to Castiel every night even if he could never hear him. He missed the angel deeply and knew that it was going to be difficult to do all of this without him.

"Dean I made you breakfast," Sam mumbled coking up behind Dean and casing him to jump. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you,"

Sam knew that Dean had been on edge ever since what happened. And even more so since Jack moved in with them. But that was a story for another time. 

Nights Dean could still feel Castiel in his arms as he had carried him bridal style. The blonde chose to drink away this feeling of dispair because he simply didn't want to do it anymore. 

Though Dean kept Castiels trench coat, and would hug it most nights. Though he would never tell Sam or anyone else that. He sewed the hole in the back and refused to wash it because he knee that it would lose the angry scent.

Most mornings Dean would wake up with his nose buried in it, it calmed him to a point here he thought that Castiel was there watching over him. 

However everytime he woke up he was still missing. 

And then one day something in him broke.

"Listen Dean we can't go turning on our own now! Alright we have to get mom back! We have to trust Jack, Cas did-"

"Yeah and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that but I can't!" Dean's voice began to shake at the end as he didn't even glance at his brother before turning around and leaving toward the kitchen. 

Dean went right for the fridge to grab a beer, though as he was about to turn around he heard a thump from behind him. 

"Cas?" Dean questioned his voice quivering with confusion there his best friend was on his kitchen floor looking as good as new. "You're… Cas!" Dean shouted helping the angel up and before castiel could even blink the blonde was wrapping him up in a hug. 

"Hello Dean,"

"Don't ever do that again Cas," The blonde mumbled through a worried and shaky sigh. "Don't ever leave us again,"

"That was never my intention- lucifer has gotten away again I presume,"

"He's trapped there… With our mother," Dean added causing the angel to give him a sympathetic glance.

"I'm sorry,"

"It's not your fault you did everything you could," Dean reassured rocking his arms from around Castiel however the angel didn't do the same.

"How am I here… You didn't make a deal did you?"

"Of course not!" Dean exclaimed. "Hell I don't care how you got here I'm just glad you're here," Dean reassured causing Castiel to give a small sheepish smile. 

"Thank you Dean,"

"I need you," the hunter explained before he knew what was coming out of his mouth. "I need you,"

"No you don't you survived without me,"

"I wasn't happy,"

"I make you happy?" Castiel questioned causing a blush to form across Dean's cheeks. 

"Well I-"

"You make me happy too Dean," That's when suddenly the eldest Winchester doesn't know what came over him but he leaned down and kissed the angel right on the lips. 

And he was damn happy he did.