ᎢᎻᎬ ᎬNᎠᏆNᏩ ᏔᎬ ᎠᎬᏚᎬᎡᏙᎬ.

"In my time of dying,"

I’m doing this for you Cas. 

Were Dean’s only thoughts as he sped down the road. There was vodka in the passenger seat and tears streaming down his cheeks. Dean knew what he was about to do. He had both his hands on the steering wheel, his knuckles white as if that was the only thing keeping the car in it’s right lane. 

The blonde haired Winchester felt numb as his heart thumped against his chest. He didn’t know how that was possible since at the moment it was shattered to pieces. He heard his phone go off once again in the passenger seat as he shut the noise out. 

Classic rock was blaring through the speakers of the baby as he had the window down and shouted the lyrics off key through his voice cracking. He knew that this would be the last time he would ever be in his car. 

He was glad that Jack couldn’t find him with the sigils on his ribs. He was thankful that he had been able to give Sam a hug goodbye and act like it was to console him about Eileen. He thought about all the people that died because of him. 

Everyone died because of him. 

"I'm sorry Cas… I asked Chuck to bring you back and now he's gone we stopped him, and now Jack is gone- you're gone. Dammit, this isn't right!" Dean slammed his hands on the steering wheel in frustration as he stared at the gun in his lap. "I-I need Sam… Jack and you…" 

He had finally made it this far and yet he still wanted to die. He couldn't live knowing that everyone around him was dead because of him… He still didn't think that he deserved a happy life. 

Dean sped off back home to the bunker… His thoughts wondering on why the hell Jack had to leave them. He knew that the young boy was doing the right thing… That they shouldn't rely on his powers but what the fuck.  

When Dean got back to the bunker he slammed the door shut with all of his might and tumbled down the stairs, his foot missing the first step.  

"DEAN!" Sam roared from the library, his eyes widening at the sight of his brother. Suddenly that's when all Dean could see hovering over him was his big moose of a brother.  

The blonde was holding his arm and his head as he sat up dizzily. "You were going to leave weren't you," Sam whispered quietly smelling the stench of vodka on Dean but more importantly gun powder. 

"Sammy you talk too much," Dean laughed trying to get up with a groan in pain however his brother didn't let him. "Sam-" 

"We're free now Dean why the hell would you do that… Why the hell would you want to leave me?" Sam flabbergasted , his mouth hanging open in shock as Dean shook his head.  

"Don't do this to me Sam you know why… All the people I got killed-" 

"Charlie, dad, mom, Cas… They would all want you to be happy, they wouldn't want this for you," Sam tried to point out however Dean brushed it off, feeling his heart swell up at the mention of his best friend.  

"I don't want to leave you," Dean blurted out mentally face palming himself knowing that his true emotions came out when he's drunk. "I won't ever leave you I'm right here," 

"Good," was all Sam managed to get out as his body filled with emotions. 

"I love you… My baby brother," Suddenly Dean was sitting up and hugging his brother tightly. "Bitch," 

"I love you… Jerk, that's why I don't understand-" 

"I can't deal with this pain anymore Sammy you know that," Dean could hear the sob coming up in his throat and his voice crack with brokenness.