cigarettes after sex | hyunin

ten

when jeongin gained more strength he decided it was best to return back to work as hiding in his room crying all day was just making his situation worse. yet all he could think about was how he was truly terrified of hyunjin, he felt so stupid but he couldn't help it. he couldn't pin point if that fear came from his past trauma or the fact that hyunjin wanted to get close to him. jeongin was scared of getting close to people, he covered him his broken and empty heart with random hookups which would only make him feel something temporarily.

the boy put on light wash straight leg jeans with a stripy jumper and his favourite circle rim glasses. he checked himself out in the mirror and smiled a little, he hadn't got ready in a few day so it felt good to see himself all dressed and happier. he ruffled his hair to make it more messy and got the rest of his stuff ready to leave for work. as he was packing his bag he took a deep sigh, jeongin felt brave that he built enough courage to go back to work. even if it was just a small thing it still meant a lot to him.

jeongin slung the tote bag on his shoulder then soon left for work, he felt more relaxed that day and that was a definite relief. once he arrived at the building he walked in with no hesitation as if he stood there overthinking it he would either turn back or leave. he walked to his seat and heard a lot of chatter including his name which he expected, he caused a scene then disappeared for a week and that wasn't that common to happen but he didn't care.

"innie i miss you!" jisung said and jeongin only smiled and nodded his head, "anyway i wanted to ask you something..." the older said and smiled at his friend. "do you want to go with me to the fundraiser? i'm guessing you don't have a date and neither do i so let's go together!?" jisung said rather enthusiastically but there was a deeper meaning to his thoughts. "sure!" jeongin smiled and logged into his computer, a sigh leaving his lips at the piles of work he had received.

all was fine until a certain male entered the room. jeongin felt tense at the presence of the other. hyunjin. "jeongin you're back." his boss said and walked over to him. "can we chat in my office." he said and jeongin only nodded his head. they walked in awkward silence and it only stayed that way. hyunjin remembered the others state and didn't want to push him further. once they were both seated they both stared at eachother not sure what to say, "so-" "i'm sor-" they both started at the same time and looked away awkwardly.

"jeongin the fundraiser... you don't really need to do much all night so just enjoy it ok. sorry if i've been making you feel too much pressure." hyunjin felt like a coward being so nice but he saw jeongin so fragile back at his house and it make him feel for the boy, he knew there was a deeper meaning to how he reacted to him and his lifestyle. because he was so greedy for jeongins touch he had to get closer to him somehow and he figured that jeongin was the type who just wanted to be loved, he craved the touch of others.

jeongin nodded his head and stood up, "if that's all i'll get back to my work then." the younger said and left before hyunjin could utter another word. the boy sat at his desk and sighed. he felt so broken. jeongin was good at hiding his emotions but lately it was just getting harder and harder to live his dull life.

the 20 year old had struggled with depression ever since he was 15, his parents abandoned him and left him to live on his own. they left him money and stuff he needed and ran away, he had to buy a little apartment and do everything himself. he struggled for years until he met chan and felix who saved him from the darkest point in his life and made him gain his happiness.

although ever since felix got a boyfriend he more or less lived alone again and that made him quite sad - he was happy for his friend but most days he would feel so lonely that all his dark thoughts came back. even when felix was home his boyfriend changbin was there too. he wanted someone to love for himself, he was so jealous of felix and changbin but he was scared of falling in love. jeongin was to complex for most so he stopped trying; his trust issues only grew.

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the day of the fundraiser had finally came. jeongin actually felt exited to go as it wasn't just any club or random party he would attend to, he would have to wear a suit and dress up which made him happy, he thought he looked rather hot in a suit and he needed a random boost of confidence.

jeongin promised himself to not get completely drunk as it would be embarrassing to be walking around messily and feeling horny in front of important business people, famous models and co workers.

he had bought a new suit that fit his body's curves so perfectly and it made him look rather hot. jeongin had agreed to go with jisung as his date which he thought was cute as they were friends, he didn't see any problems with it - jisungs intentions buried deep down that jeongin couldn't see them.

jisung had noticed hyunjins motives towards jeongin and couldn't help but feel jealous. jisung had watched hyunjin with various different others before but jeongin felt different somehow, the way he was the one who resisted hyunjin reminded him of himself and that made him want his ex. going with jeongin to the fundraiser meant he could spend more time with the boss and flirt with him maybe.

the whole reason jisung dumped the other was because he wasn't rough how he liked it but he had soon changed through the years and it made him crave him more.

'hey jeong what's you're address so i can pick you up later :))' jisung sent the text to the other.

jeongin read the text and sent his address to the other and checked the time, realising he had to go shower before he was late for jisung picking him up at 7.

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poor innie :(( he's gone through
so much i feel bad making him
so sad but dkdkkd uno :///
also i'll be posting a nomin (nct)
book soon so check it out
when it's up !! <3

-rin ᵕ̈