cigarettes after sex | hyunin

fifty-one

hyunjin had noticed a change in jeongin the past few days and how he was slightly more distant in the day but clingy at night, overly reassuring the older that he would never leave. those words scared him as maybe jeongin was planning to leave soon, that reassurance was maybe just a way to get him to think in a different way. hyunjin was scared of loosing the boy he had devoted his life to.

"baby where are you going?" hyunjin hummed as he watched jeongin put on nice clothes, not just a usual throw on of hoodies and shorts like he always did around the house but instead it was a pair of tight jeans and a loose button down shirt.

"meeting the guys if that's ok." jeongin replied softly but didn't smile nor look back at hyunjin, something about him right now looked odd to his usual expression and that made hyunjin frown a little.

"or you could stay in with me.. you know i've been wanting to try out new thin-"

"hyunjin. let me go out. you've trapped me in this place for too long." jeongin snapped, eyes widening once he had realised what he had said, but it was true.. way too true. ever since jeongins suicide attempt, hyunjin kept a close eye on the boy and made sure to never let him do much just to be safe.

jeongin eventually got talked out of leaving his job, socialising less and overall just being there for hyunjin and hyunjin only. at the time the blonde wasn't fazed and thought that the older was doing everything to help him out but now, he had just realised that whatever had happened was toxic and hyunjin was becoming borderline obsessive.

sure he loved the older, everything about him in fact. but those horror stories he once read were popping up occasionally in his mind. reminding him of that over possessive, over powering and scary hyunjin that he once knew.

"why are you snapping at me." hyunjin said so sternly that he didn't need to raise his voice, in fact it already made the younger look down and submit to whatever he was ready to say. "who do you think you are saying such things? everything i do for you just for you to end up like this."

hyunjins words hurt, oh how he spoke like this so often these days it hurt. how he degraded jeongin in ways that wasn't a technique to spice up the bedroom but now just a way for him to dehumanise the poor boy.

"you're pathetic. go out i don't care. i've had enough of you anyway." hyunjin sneered, giving jeongin such a look of disgust it made the boy sob there and then. the was the older began to talk to jeongin recently made him feel so hurt it was unimaginable, how he hated being so heavily mistreated but loved him so much that he couldn't just disobey him like that.

"n-no jinnie i'm so sorry i didn't mean it like that! p-please forgive me! i'm so so so sorry!" the blonde begged, almost crawling on the older to plead his forgiveness that was only ignored. the more hyunjin spoke this way, the more jeongin felt the need to cling onto him and gain his attention. he was so used to the toxicity that he became numb to it.

hyunjin only ignored him, ignoring how the smaller boys tears dripped onto his skin. hyunjin knew he was sensitive, so fragile, yet he no longer cared. he felt mad as jeongin did how he pleased and he didn't like it as the younger was his and only his... he wasn't aloud a life outside of him.

"jinnie i beg i wil-"

thump

the smaller sobbed, taken a back from what hyunjin had just done. he climbed off the bed and away from the older, pushing back until his was leant up against the wall. a hand pressed to his now throbbing cheek.

"d-did you just hit me..." jeongin spoke in disbelief as he stared back at hyunjin whos eyes were plain, not how he remembered them as twinkling only a few seconds ago. he had never imagined that hyunjin would feel the need to his him, how he looked so blank and expressionless right now.

"stop overreacting. i can't even look at you right now." hyunjin mumbled, lying down on their bed and facing the opposite way to a scared jeongin. he was hurt how the older was so unsympathetic, how something about him had changed so drastically these past weeks... jeongin was so confused to where the love of his life had gone. he still knew that he loved the man lay there, but something was new ad he didn't like it.

"i'm going out." jeongin sniffled, wiping his eyes and leaving the house as quickly as possible before hyunjin did anything else.

"

hai besties !!
this is still a
flashback btw !

- rin