cigarettes after sex | hyunin

sixty-one

each day passing became more and more depressing for jeongin... the fact that this was no joke and hyunjin had actually forgotten him was settling in each day. he was still in disbelief, shocked that hyunjin could ever forget him but the more he spoke to him the more he realised it was true. i mean, sure hyunjin had been cruel to him in the past but he knew he would never lie about anything like this - that would just be sad.

the most horrifying part was how he would have to reply to hyunjins questions, how the elder would ask jeongin how they met and what they liked to do and little things like that, each breaking jeongins heart as he had to remember all the good and all the heart break yet hyunjin was completely clueless. he thought it was unfair, unfair that hyunjin was able to forget all the bad that had happened to them yet jeongin had to remember it all clearly and even recite it back to him.

as the time had passed on and hyunjins recovery was steadily improving in such a positive way, he was able to return home with the supervision of jeongin, the younger promising to look after hyunjin the best he possibly could. in all honesty, he was scared to return back to hyunjins house, scared to lie back in his bed and pretended like he didn't suffer horribly there... so horribly yet hyunjin would never know of such things - all of what he had done himself.

"well do you remember you're home at least?" jeongin asked as they entered the apartment elevator, the blonde struggling to wheel hyunjin in his wheelchair and carry all the bags at the same time. "yeah...weirdly enough i can remember most things but you're still a mystery jeongin. but there's other things i can't remember too, i can't remember any of my friends either." hyunjin said with a hum.

"owch. guess you just can't remember me then." jeongin chuckled bitterly as they went up each floor, he felt so hurt that all he wanted to cry. jeongin had cried too much already but it was hard not to when everything around him was there to remind him that he was nothing in hyunjins life. if he left right now, hyunjin wouldn't care one bit. why would he need to ? jeongin wasn't significant in any part of hyunjins life anymore.

"i can't remember my friends either though." hyunjin said so innocently, making the younger sigh. how would jeongin explain that hyunjin had lost all of his friends, and the ones he had gained from jeongin he had pushed them away from both of them just to manipulate jeongin. the blonde sighed in relief once the elevator doors opened, him wheeling the injured boy out and balancing all the bags too.

"jinnie i have to tell you everything gradually... i hate to say but the life we've shared the past year hasn't been the prettiest and it would be way too much to take in over one night so please, let me tell you in time." jeongin said as calmly as he could. all jeongin wanted to do was scream, this wasn't fair. life was so unfair to him. what had he even done to deserve such punishment, life was evil and jeongin wished he was no longer apart of it.

of course, that was his plan all along. sometimes he hated hyunjin for tearing that away from him, prolonging his life more and more just to make him suffer. the first time maybe was a mistake and jeongin knew that him and hyunjin were good then but now? all jeongin wished was that he was no longer here - but he couldn't ever leave hyunjin again, not like this.

jeongin felt sick walking into the apartment, his old home where so much had happened. how he was loved yet so mistreated here. each corner of each room had some form of memory tied to it, memories that hyunjin would never be able to remember for himself.

"you know, we've had sex almost in every different part of this apartment. list anywhere and i could tell you a story." jeongin said with a soft giggle, helping hyunjin out of his wheelchair to walk over to the couch, all though he was broken nearly everywhere, hyunjin seemed to be someone who recovered fast and already was walking - only using a wheelchair for long periods of time.

"we've had sex?" hyunjin asked in a tone that made jeongin burst out laughing, oh how stupid he sounded that he didn't know his old self and what he was capable of. jeongin liked this atmosphere, how the two of them were more friendly than anything else and overall just comfortable as jeongin knew he was able to shape a bit of hyunjins personality when he was in this fragile state - so he didn't become abusive again - and hyunjin put all of his trust in him as jeongin was the person that had stuck by him during his time in hospital. even more than his sister did.

"oh baby. i know that you're memory isn't the greatest now if you can't remember how you used to be like. jinnie, you're the most sex obsessed person i know. you own more sex toys then a fucking store." jeongin hummed, sitting beside the boy and turning on the television, choosing to ignore the messy home they were in - jeongin would clean later he decided.

"as if, i'm not that type of person!" hyunjin protested, making jeongin cry laugh once more. jeongin ended up dragging the boy into their old shared bedroom, sitting him at the foot of the bed before turning and looking through the cabinet that held all of hyunjins toys. all of which had been used on jeongin.

jeongin held up various different objects, each one making the long haired male more and more shocked that he had used such things on anyone as he was convinced he was a more sweet and delicate type. "you're so harsh in bed.. i missed it jinnie." jeongin said in a slight whimper, feeling upset that he hadnt been touched in a while nor been praised which made him feel even worse.

"so we're a kinky couple?"

"you could say so." jeongin hummed, his eyes sparkling once he saw his own favourite thing that he used to wear, one that he knew hyunjin loved too. the blonde bent over and picked it up, holding the fabric up to himself and smiling. "this is our favourite on me. you love seeing me in skirts, you've always loved how feminine i was, you always tell me how pretty i am-"

"try it on for me." hyunjin asked softly, cutting off the younger who was partly in disbelief and partly about to cry happy tears. this was probably the most attention hyunjin had fed him in months, he had been craving it, dying for it. "r-really?"

"please?"

jeongin nodded, facing the opposite way of hyunjin to look at himself in the mirror first, he wore one of hyunjins favourite hoodies on his top half and loose shorts in his bottoms. he slipped the shorts off and watched as hyunjins eyes trailed down to his perky cheeks, how hard it was for jeongin to try and not tease him yet he knew it would do nothing or lead to nothing. he slipped the fabric up his body and zipped the side up, the shape of the skirt making his waist look tiny and his ass huge.

"fuck, i see why i liked this. you're really hot jeongin." hyunjin said lightly, starring at jeongin with such greed in his eyes as if it was just his human nature to instantly think about sex without trying.

"too bad you can't fuck me like thi-" jeongin paused and shook his head, looking away once he realised what he had said. he was getting way too comfortable with hyunjin that he was acting normal, way too normal for their circumstances. "i'm sorry hyunjin i didn't mean it like that. i-i just... talking with you so casually makes me remember us and how good we we're..." he stopped once more, feeling himself begin to tear up and sit beside hyunjin on the bed.

"it hurts that you can't remember anything about me; you can't remember what my favourite pet name is, what my favourite movie is... fuck it pisses me off that you can't remember my moans. how many times i've screamed out your name for what? i'm so madly in love with you and you don't know me. fuck you jinnie, fuck you for being so cruel." jeongin broke down, crying into hyunjins chest, the boy just stroking on the youngers hair to calm him down but nothing seemed to work. then, as if it was just some kind of instinct hyunjin stopped stroking his head and made the blonde stare into his eyes before saying:

"it's ok princess, i'm here."

"

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-rin <3