cigarettes after sex | hyunin

forty-two

although jeongin was aware this whole situation was bad, the fact that the man he loved potentially may be leaving him, but somehow jeongin hadn't came to terms with the fact that it was real.

that this wasn't one of their tiny arguments they usually had, arguments that weren't even that bad. arguments that ended up in makeup sex as the way they forgot about their problems. how if jeongin raised his voice and so did hyunjin, they both usually found that side of eachother hot and fucked right there and then - ultimately, making up.

but right now?

it was starting to kick in that maybe this wasn't just a simple fall out... that jeongin had pushed and pushed hyunjin so much that this time the older couldn't take it anymore. the most times the two argued was because of the fact jeongin was stubborn and so hyunjin gave in, but this time hyunjin didn't give in and gave up in fact.

"what was that about?" a sleepy felix said, his hair all messy and and a blanket wrapped around his frame, checking the time with a sigh as it was one in the morning. "i-i.." jeongin was still out of breath from running out the apartment in hope to catch up with hyunjin.

"where's hyunjin..?" felix asked, sure that the long haired male was sleeping over tonight. not before long, the blonde had heard those words and collapsed onto the floor, sobbing so loudly that felix could tell the boy was in pain.

"w-we... i-i think we've b-broken up..!" he cried out, not even sure himself if that was true but he knew that they were at least on some kind of break. "baby!" felix hushed him softly, wiping his tears and helping him up to the couch where he wrapped him up in the blanket he was wearing not so long ago.

after a few minutes the boy finally settled down and explained the whole thing to his best friend. felix knew he was obviously going to stick with jeongin through everything but the way the younger explained the story made it hard for felix not to think he was partially in the wrong.

"call him innie.. you just need to talk it out calmly. you can hyunjin had built up anger so now that he's calm you should call him ok.." felix started and the younger only nodded at first, thinking too much to reply.

"i love him. i've never loved anyone before lix... i can't loose him. not when he's the only person keeping me here- i- i know i love you guys but i honestly have no purpose without him i'm sorry.." jeongin said breaking down, he knew that it would be harsh to admit in front of his roommate how he felt but he was pretty sure that felix understood that anyway.

the fact that jeongins life had became so heavily based on hyunjin was scary... but was it even like that for the older too??

"FUCK!" hyunjin screamed in his car, hitting the driving wheel once he had stopped at a small convenient store by his house just to think for a while before driving again.

one thing he had never thought of doing before was leaving jeongin like that, in such a state of shock and sadness. it shattered his heart completely but at the same time he knew that he was slowly becoming immune to the boys bad behaviour and it was making him too soft - not in a way that was good either.

jeongin often had things his was only and was very selfish and self indulgent without thinking about it and hyunjin didn't mind that, in fact he loved that he was centre of attention and often highlighted that more. but recently jeongin was become more of a brat then anything else and kicked off loads, causing petty arguments and never letting go unless hyunjin was the one to apologise first.

the younger kept making hyunjin the bad guy and him the victim which wasn't fair. hyunjin loved jeongin, in fact he loved him more than anything else in the world but sometimes it was hard to love him, harder than it was for jeongin to love him. he often would put up with it but the moment he spoke badly about how hyunjin treated him, that really set him off.

hyunjin knew he was a good boyfriend and did everything humanly possible to bring the world to jeongin himself. anything he wanted, needed or asked for, hyunjin had got him in less than a second with no hesitation. the older was head over heals and wrapped around his finger so hearing him say he wasn't a good partner made him beyond angry and slip out everything that was built up.

what he said was truthful but he still wanted to apologise to the boy for making him sad. he wanted to wipe away those tears from his pretty face and kiss his soft pink lips... he wanted to make him smile again and obviously wanted to hear him beg.

"sometimes it's hard loving you.." hyunjin mumbled, his head buried into his hands, holding back a sob as he too needed one. not having the younger around for a month because he couldn't was hard, but now he was back and able to see him but wasn't there hurt like hell.

all hyunjin wanted was everything to go back to normal but they both knew that wasn't going to happen as both were too stubborn to apologise. but deep down all they wanted was to forget all about it.

≣

I JUST PIERCED
MY OWN EARS
WITH A NEEDLE
AHHHH!!! they sting
omg but i've wanted
my seconds done
for ages and i
finally did it yayy !
lol i know this isn't
related but oh well
i have nothing else
to say ndkdnsod

-rin