The Tragedy of Mary Jane Stark

Natasha

The four said goodbye after the ice cream parlor and Mary started to drive her and Peter home.
"I've missed them. I can't wait till we go back to school and do homework with them. As much as I used to complain about it, at least it would feel kind of normal again." Peter said taking the top off of Mary's convertible.
"Yeah me too. Hanging out with them almost made me forget everything's different now." Mary said quietly.
"Hey are you alright?" Peter said, his playful voice now turning serious. He put his hand on Mary's leg.
"Michelle knows. About everything. She texted me while we were at the ice cream parlor. But she seemed to feel bad, rather than be scared." Mary said not taking her eyes off he road.
"Well that's a good thing! Right? I mean she recognizes that it wasn't your fault. And knowing Michelle she won't tell anyone, remember we are her only friends." Peter joked hoping to get Mary to smile. She did. But a fake one, a smile to satisfy Peter.

The car ride got quiet. Peter seemed to be enjoying the wind. Mary knew Michelle wasn't scared of her. But just the realization that Michelle knew what she had done unsettled her. Being with her friends made it feel like everything was okay. Everything was back to normal. Tony was alive and well, planning his and Peppers wedding. Vision was safely living with Wanda some where in Europe. Natasha was sadly on the run but still alive. Mary hadn't known Vision very well. Not like she knew the other Avengers. But he was always kind to her. Always.
And Natasha. God she was a role model for Mary. She loved that Natasha never let Mary win at anything, never treated her like a child but more like a friend. Nat would always be up to playing whatever stupid game Mary asked her to play. Beating Mary at whatever it was every time. There was even a time were Mary had forgotten a lunch for school and texted her dad asking to have Happy bring something. Just for Natasha to show up in a brown wig to bring her McDonald's.
Mary smiled remembering them. Mary remembered just days before the blip, going out with Peter, Michelle, and Ned. Just as they had done today. When everyone was alive and happy.
"Mj are you okay? You look sick?" Peter said looking over to notice Mary's upset complexion.
"I'm going to pull over at that gas station over there. I think I need a second to calm down." She said pulling into the parking lot. She parked the car and grabbed her head.

She was not going to cry. She had been doing so good. She was fine. She got closure with Tony. She was not going to cry. She could handle this. Natasha wouldn't want her to be crying on the side of the road. Oh god Natasha. They didn't even have a funeral for her. They can't even get her body back. She technically died in 2014. Her corpse in space must be rotted.
It hurts Peter when she's upset. She can't cry it will make Peter nervous. Peter doesn't like it. She can't cry for Peters sake
Was she really going to break down and loose her streak of not having a meltdown, over Natasha? Yes she was. Is she just now having the realization that Natasha is dead? Nothings going to be the same? Yes she was.
Mary rubbed her face with her hands forcing herself not to cry.
"Mary..." Peter said quietly. That was it. She couldn't handle it anymore. She began to cry much to Peter's dismay. She tried to shield her face with her arms, maybe Peter hadn't noticed. But he did. "Mary what's wrong? What can I do to help." He said again quietly.
Mary just unbuckled her seat belt and moved so she could be sitting in Peters seat with him, his arms already wide open.
"I'm sorry." She said through tears. "I really shouldn't be crying I feel stupid. I know it upsets you." She said hiding her face in the crook of Peters neck.
"Don't be sorry. Please Mj talk to me. What upset you? Was it Michelle knowing?" He said moving her hair from her face.
"I just started thinking you know, like about how things were. Before all of this. When everyone was alive. Then the realization hit me, Natasha's dead. She technically died 9 years ago. Why am I just now realizing this Pete." She said refusing to look at him. She could already tell he had sad puppy eyes, she didn't need to look.
"Mary it's okay. Don't be afraid to be upset. Your allowed to be. It's just going to take some getting used too. It's going to be hard for sure but we'll get through it. Okay? And Natasha, I never wanted to say anything because I didn't want to upset you. But I'm glad you talking to me about it." He said rubbing her back.

"It's just so hard to come to terms with it all. The only way I was able to even breathe for myself when dad died was because I fucking brought him back to life and I got closure. But Nats different. I hadn't seen her in 2 years. I- I don't even know if she ever thought about me. And this is stupid and selfish because I know you were to young to even remember you parents and you never got closure for uncle Ben. I'm sorry. If this is what it feels like Peter. I- just- thank you for always being here. I can't imagine what I'd do without you." She blurted out laying her head on his shoulder. She was calming down now.
"This is understandable Mary. Please don't feel bad. You know how I was after Ben, I was almost mean at times. It will get better. I'm honestly surprised it's taking you this long to cry, your the one telling me not to internalize it. Now look at you, forcing your tears back in." He joked which genuinely made Mary Jane laugh.
"Thank you Pete. You always know how to make me feel better." She said wrapping her arms around his shoulder. He kissed her forehead in response.
"Want me to drive home?"
"Not yet. Can we just sit like this for a little longer. It's nice." Mary said closing her eyes.
"I know you don't sleep Mj. Maybe it's lack of sleep that's making you so upset."
"You caught me." She said smirking. "Your dreams are just so interesting."
"I don't ever remember my dreams when I wake up. What do I dream about?"
"Swinging through the city. Building legos. Ned. Eating. Me. And to be quit frank my boobs. A lot." She said giggling slightly. Peter's face turned red.
"Oh no."
"I can stop watching them if you'd like. You always just look so peaceful."
"No no that's fine! I just didn't realize I dreamed about that..."
"Crazy that you have this obsession with them and never seen the spider stick and poke tattoo." She giggled again.
"I- well obsession isn't the best word. But yeah you'll have to s-show me it." He said getting flustered again.
"I think I'm okay to drive." Mary said getting up slowly rubbing her eyes.
"Are you sure? Cause if you need me to I-," but Mary cut him off.
"No no it's okay. I'd probably panic more if you drive." She giggled. She saw herself in the mirror, makeup staining her eyes. "Oh god I look like the winter soldier." She laughed getting back in her seat.
"A pretty winter soldier."
"Alright Mr Cheesy let's go home." She joked starting the car again.

*
The car ride the rest of the way was full of their usual banter.
"You do kind of look like Michael J. Fox in the back to the future movie." Mary laughed. "Pepper is right."
"I don't see it! I wish I was Marty Mcfly though. That would be so cool. You'd be Jennifer and Tony would be the Doc." Peter said sounding fascinated.
"I have a feeling you've planned this scenario before?" She giggled.
"Who wouldn't." He laughed.
"Your such an energetic person. I love that I get to see inside your mind, the source of the chaos." Mary said. "Your personality type is ENFP after all." She smirked.
"I can't imagine what your mind look like." He said sticking his arms up to feel the air.
"Constant overthinking and judgment." She smirked.
"And that's why your an INFJ." He said making her laugh.
"I still think those tests are wrong. I don't think I'm that much of an introvert."
"Oh you definitely are. You've taken it like 40 times and always get INFJ. Just except your fate as the advocate." He laughed. Mary took a good look at his smiling face. The way the corner of his eyes crinkle when he smiles, he's contagious laugh. "What are you staring at?" He laughed again. "You should be looking at the road."
"I'm sorry you just look so pretty when you laugh." She said smiling turning her attention back to the road.
"I like it when you call me pretty. Especially after you said handsome sounds like something a grandma would say."

                                         *
Peter left for patrol again that night and Mary waited for him. She couldn't, not that she ever really, sleep without him. As much as she knew the bedroom was made for her, the red walls the black bedsheets. It still never felt like home to her. But like Peter said it would take some to get used too.
Peter snuck in closer to 3- this made Mary nervous. He normally came around 2. He crept into the room.
"Are you okay? You didn't answer you phone." Mary Jane said getting up from the bed. She noticed Peter was holding a bouquet of daisies behind his back.
"I'm sorry I- I'm alright. I was late because I went out and bought you these." He said sheepishly taking off his mask and handing her the flowers.
"Awww Pete. They are so pretty. Thank you." Mary said kissing him before setting them in the vase on the dresser.
"I hoped they'd put a smile on your face." He said smiling sheepishly.
"Your so cute." She said reaching up to kiss him again. "Wait. Did you buy them in your spider suit?" Mary giggled at the thought. Imagining Peter in his spider suit standing waiting for the cashier in some drug store to buy flowers.
"Yeah the lady at the counter got a kick out of Spider-Man buying flowers." He smirked than began to kiss her again. Sitting down on the bed as Mary sat on his lap, not breaking the kiss.
"I think nows a good time to check out my spider tattoo, don't you think?" She smirked playing with his hair.
"I- uh- absolutely." Peter said flustered, smiling like a child on Christmas morning.