memories, psych [ 1 ]

008. civil war reenactment

They get to a top of the hill and overlook practice for a Civil War reenactment. Shawn is holding a picnic blanket and a Snapple, Gus is holding some food, and Vanessa is holding Madison.

"Ooh, just in time." Shawn says.

"For what?" Gus asks.

"The annual Civil War reenactor's meltdown." Shawn states.

"The event isn't until next weekend." Gus says.

"Yeah, but this is the best part. The rehearsal. This is what they should charge for." Shawn says.

"Form battle lines!" Lassiter yells. "Prepare muskets!"

"Is that Lassiter?" Gus asks.

"That would be why we're here." Vanessa realizes.

"Yes, it is." Shawn answers both of them.

"What died on his face?" Gus asks.

"I don't know, but it ain't pretty." Vanessa says.

"Pwetty." Madison repeats.

"Yeah." Vanessa smiles. Madison has started saying words than "mama", "dink" which means drink, "toy", and "potty" which Vanessa is very happy about. "Yeah, it's not pretty. But you are very, very pretty." She puckers her lips and Madison pecks her on the lips.

"Charge!" Lassiter yells and the reenactment begins.

They got the picnic blanket down and all sit down, Vanessa placing Madison in front of her. They get their food and Snapples out and Vanessa gets Madison her apple juice and peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Madison stands and waddles over to Shawn, sitting on his lap. He moves his food so it's not in her way and lets Vanessa give the girl her own food.

Lassiter blows on a bugle, stopping all the fighting.

"Okay, guys, that was better. Really, it was good, actually. Okay. It wasn't good." Lassiter says, getting off the horse. "Look, guys, I know I promised last week that I wasn't going to give any more notes, but guys, come on. That last charge, it was... how do I say this? It was a soul sucking embarrassment that made me ashamed to wear the uniform."

"Luke Bauer?" Lassiter calls. "Where's Luke?"

"Colonel Lassiter, sir!" Luke salutes.

"Luke, what did I say about the bayonet gag? Huh? Too much. There's going to be kids watching this, all right. We don't want the people in the grandstands to vomit. Okay. I know we haven't reenacted this one for a while, but the Battle at Piper's Cover, Kentucky, 1864, is special to me."

"It ended Confederate Raider Quantrill's plot to assassinate Lincoln and it involved my great-great-grandfather, Colonel Muscum T. Lassiter."

"Muscum?" Gus and Vanessa question.

"What the hell is a muscum?" Shawn asks.

"It was a very common name of the era." Gus informs. The other two look at him. "History channel."

"ESPN, Gus. Channel 206. I'm begging you." Shawn says. "Hey, Jules." He greets. "Want to join?"

"Oh, can I?" Juliet asks.

"I don't know. Do you have your own hoop skirt?" Shawn asks.

"I rent one." She says.

"Sally Reynolds, front and center." Lassiter calls and she steps forward. "You missed you cue, Sally. The cannon fired, yet no Sally."

"I got stuck in the hospital tent. Sergeant Menish had a quick question about his homeowner's policy." Sally says.

"How touching. However, today, you're not here to sell insurance, Sally. Today, you're here to help me win the Civil War and according to our battle plan, when the fifth cannon fires, you exit the hospital tent and you shoot Captain Quantrill off his horse."