memories, psych [ 1 ]

29. baby gifts

Gus and Vanessa are at the psych office and Shawn got there, telling them about what he's been doing involving the murder case that they're not allowed to be on.

"Trying to solve that case is what got us in trouble in the first place, Shawn!" Gus exclaims.

"She said she wanted me to name the murderer. As long as I could do it in ten seconds." Shawn says.

"And as long as it didn't distract from the nanny search." Gus says.

"So you two find the perfect nanny before she does. I'll find the murderer for the police. And voila! She's loving us again." Shawn says.

"And exactly how is this plan different from what we were doing before?" Gus asks.

"Because now we're renegades, dude. It's so hardcore! Working without the chief's knowledge. Racing against a ticking clock for her approval. It's gonna be so much more exciting. Can't you feel it?"

"I can feel you being an idiot who never listens." Vanessa says.

"No, Shawn, I don't feel it. I feel depression. I feel a series of missed payments on our rent. That's the only thing that motivates me to think we need to fix this." Gus says.

"I need to get more information on those two nannies from the park. Maybe get into that agency where they both work." Shawn says.

"And how do you plan on doing that? It's not like you can pretend you're a nanny. The agency does do extensive security checks on who they hire." Gus says.

"But not necessarily on the parents who hire them." Shawn says. "Nessy, what do you say? Be my wife."

"Yeah, I don't think so." Vanessa turns him down.

"Wh-- it's not like we'd actually be married. Even if we were married, I'd be a better husband than Greg was." Shawn says.

"While that is true, I'm sticking with no." Vanessa smiles.

Shawn sighs, turning to Gus.

"Come on, buddy. What do you say? Do a little cameo on My Two Dads?" Shawn says.

"That show was canceled for a reason, Shawn. I'm sorry. You're gonna have to find someone else to co-parent with." Gus says.

"I was gonna let you be Greg Evigan." Shawn says to Gus' retreating figure. He sighs, turning back to Vanessa. "Please, Nessy. I will never ask you for something again."

"Yeah, right." The blonde scoffs. "Look, I platonically love you and I trust you with my children's lives, but no, I'm not going to be your fake wife on a case we're not even allowed to be on. So go procreate fake children with a different fake wife."

+++

Gus and Vanessa are interviewing nannies, hoping to find a good one.

"What are your opinions on Ferberizing the baby?" Gus questions.

"Oh my God. Never. That's disgusting." The woman states.

Vanessa and Gus look at each other, sharing secret looks and Gus puts a big X on the potential nanny's sheet.

~ ~ ~

"Do you have any remedies for teething pains?" Vanessa asks the possible nanny.

"Two Valiums." She answers.

"You would give the baby Valium?" Vanessa questions.

"Oh, no. Of course not. Those are for me so I can deal with the crying. I just give the baby half a Valium." The woman states.