trying to feel better

day 322

06.13.21
10:44 pm

last night E was rushed to the hospital. And he told me his injury and I spent all morning searching it up. To educate myself.

So obviously he couldn't be at church but I had him on FaceTime just on a chair so he could watch everything. He asked me to go see him which I was thinking about. From the moment I found out I just wanted to be by his side. So my parents and I went after church. My parents were in a rush to leave and so E told me that I could stay a little longer cause it was early.

So since I was going to hang with my best friend I decided I'll stay and then take an Uber to her house. So we were just chilling and eating food. We put a movie on and his mom left. He had asked me for a hug and then we just ended up cuddling cause he wanted to.

⚠️ WARNING: RATED R

After cuddling I told him he always try's to make things sexual. And then he was like no I don't. So then he's like if I wanted to make things sexual I'd do this. He began to grab my titi and wrap his hand around my neck 😩😩.

Then he like laid on my chest with his arm around my waist. As I was watching the movie I started to feel him kiss on my chest and titis. Then he started to go in my shirt and kiss me. Then he started sucking on my Titi. It felt amazing but mind you I'm a VIRGIN. and I want to wait till marriage.

Then he began to put his hand up my skirt and touched my kitty 🐱. And I had my hand on his back like scratching cause it felt amazing. Then I took his hand off of my 🐱 cause I didn't wanna go any further. Then he kept sucking my titi and put his thumb in my mouth to suck on it. 🤪🤪🤪

Afterwards we started making out and he put my hand on his dick. Which I really wanted. Then I started rubbing it and went inside his pants. He helped me pull it out. Like he had his hand on top of mine. Then I was stroking his dick while he was kissing my neck. And then I started sucking his dick!!!!

I've never done any of that in my life. Bro he's my first dick sucking LMFAOOOOO. Then eventually we stopped. And I left to my best friends house. At first I felt like super guilty. Cause I was raised sexual thing before marriage is a sin. And I believe that 100%, but now that I've started I wanna keep going. In my Uber I felt sick to my stomach, but it's like I'm young.

I'm about to be 21 so I should be able to decide when I'm ready. And I think I'll soon be ready. But we're just friends!!