06.20.21
1:03 am
the picture translates "what you don't let go of, will not let go of you".
I've never related to a quite so much in my life. I need to let go of E. What we're doing isn't good. It's too complicated now. We crossed a line we shouldn't have. I regret everything. As much as I loved it in the moment, now I know it shouldn't have happened.
We should've made boundaries. Made sure we didn't cross lines we wouldn't be able to come back from. Do things that will forever change the way we see each other. Or at least the way I see him.
Honestly he's an asshole. He's the worst, but my feelings and bond with him cloud my judgement. Tonight I realized that if I don't let go of him, I'll never be happy. I'll never find someone else. Cause I don't want a relationship with him, but I also don't want to be just friends.
I'd love for us to continue what we're doing but I also want loyalty. Which isn't fair cause we're not together. Cause I know if I heard he was talking to some girl or doing sexual shit with some girl my heart would shatter. Which isn't fair to him.
He doesn't want a relationship and I respect it. But I want more and he can't give me more. And I pray to god that if me and him aren't meant to be that my feelings go away. That whatever I think I feel for him disappears.
I need a distraction. It's gonna be a hot girl summer baby 🥵🥵🥵
YOU ARE READING
trying to feel better
Romansathese are all true thoughts and feelings. they belong to me and I've decided to share them with you. in hopes that i will one day feel better. most of these will be about a boy. and the rest will be about me. please be kind.
