12.04.21
12:13 am
things just feel weird with E at the moment. Something feels off and I know it's not another girl. He told me himself he's not talking to anyone, but he could lying. I just choose to believe him.
The e very between us feels weird. It feels off and I don't know what's wrong. He seems off. Like somethings wrong with him and I kind of want to bring it up to him. But I don't want him to think I'm bringing it up cause I think he's acting different with me. Instead I want him to know that I care and if something is wrong and he needs to talk I'm here.
It's just hard. I feel like he's super distant. Like he doesn't want to talk to me, but at the same time he kind of does want to talk. Like he's interested in talking, but won't be the one to make the first move.
It makes me overthink and I hate it. Cause my first thoughts are always a girl. Always assuming the worst of him that he talking to some new girl and I'm being pushed away. But I'm his best friend. Our friendship is so important to me and I don't want to lose him. Like at all costs I need him in my life.
It's like I've always said as long as I have E by my side I'll be fine. I genuinely don't know what life without him would be like and I certainly don't want to experience that.
7 years of friendship and this is how things have turned out. We've been playing this game with our hearts for about 4 years out of the 7. I think this is the time where we have to stop.
We're grown ups. We have to act like adults and adults don't play mind games or emotional manipulation. We need to grow up and grow out of this game. If we're meant to be together then we'll be together. If that means next week or next month or years down the road.
Soulmates always find each other.
YOU ARE READING
trying to feel better
Roman d'amourthese are all true thoughts and feelings. they belong to me and I've decided to share them with you. in hopes that i will one day feel better. most of these will be about a boy. and the rest will be about me. please be kind.
