08.11.21
11:24 pm
I think E and I are gonna have sex.
He's coming over tomorrow to help me with stuff for my room. I'm doing my room new again and he offered to help me. At first, my mom said no. Cause it would just be me and him home alone. Her fear is we'll have sex, but she told me it's up to me if I want his help. I said yes.
Then he and I discussed protection. I said to bring a condom just in case. It's better to be safe than sorry. I'm just nervous. I want to do this I do, but I'm nervous. I'm scared to let him see me naked. For him to see all my insecurities.
I'm scared I won't be good. That he won't enjoy it. That I won't enjoy it. I want to have sex. I want to be that intimate with someone you. And that someone just happens to be my best friend. Someone I love and care so much about. Someone who I trust and have such a great bond with.
I'm also kind of excited. I'm excited cause it's him that I'm giving my virginity to. It's not some stranger. Or some guy just using me for my body. This is my best friend. And no matter what happens tomorrow we'll always be best friends.
Fingers crossed I don't back out. I want to go through with it; for me not him. I want sex just as much as he does.
I guess I'll update y'all tmr!
YOU ARE READING
trying to feel better
Dragostethese are all true thoughts and feelings. they belong to me and I've decided to share them with you. in hopes that i will one day feel better. most of these will be about a boy. and the rest will be about me. please be kind.
