07.15.21
4:11 am
1 year later...
A lot has happened in a year. It's insane to think I've been on this journey for a year. We've been on this journey for a year. It's true what they say; a year can change a lot.
I've grown as a person in so many different ways. I've been at my lowest this past year. And now I'm currently at my highest. Of course there's moments where I feel lonely. Where I feel myself slipping away, but I always find my way back.
I'm my own problem and my own solution. I've also got to shout God out for never leaving my side. I wouldn't be here without his grace and mercy. I know not everyone believes the same things I do, but if only y'all knew!!
As for E and I, things are different now. A year ago we were just friends. We didn't even think sexually of each other. Or maybe we did, but it was always just talk. Now we're friends, but more. I don't know what "more" means. All I know is things are different.
I'm happy with where things are at, but I'm scared. I'm scared to continue to cross lines with him. I'm a virgin and my virginity means so much to me. And if I'm honest I don't think losing it to E would be the right thing to do. As much as I'd love to have sex with him, I know I'd regret it.
He's an amazing person. He's my best friend. I love him with my entire heart. I'd do anything for him, but I just don't see a future with us right now. I just don't want to get my hopes up and assume we'll be more then friends. That we'll get into a relationship.
The person I was a year ago does not compare to who I am today. And the person I will be a year from now will be completely different. Change is good. Change is needed.
Thank y'all for being with me this past year. Cheers to another year! 🥂
YOU ARE READING
trying to feel better
Romansathese are all true thoughts and feelings. they belong to me and I've decided to share them with you. in hopes that i will one day feel better. most of these will be about a boy. and the rest will be about me. please be kind.
