12.3.20
9:35 pm
today I went out with E and a couple of mutual friends. I thought that's it was going to be completely different then what it turned out to be. Instead of us being super playful he was kind of just like friend zoning me.
and that feeling of friend zone NEVER sits right with me. it's so weird that one day he can be so loving and cute. super flirty and then today yeah he was flirty, but it felt like I was in the friend zone.
And maybe that the problem. Maybe we like flirting with each other for fun and that's all that it is with him. Maybe it's just the fun of talking to someone like that but not actually liking me.
It's so weird and I honestly hate this feeling. This feeling of not knowing where I stand, but I'm so used to it. And maybe that should change. Maybe I should just be having fun and flirting with him just for fun. Nothing more.
Maybe I've been looking at this the wrong way. Maybe I've been sad that he doesn't feel the same way. When I should be the one who stops liking him. And just flirt and mess around for FUN.
And maybe that's what I'll do. Maybe I'll just give him back the same energy he gives me. If he wants to friend zone me, fine. I can do the same to him.
gonna give myself some space and time to realize that I need to stop trying so hard. If it's meant to be it'll be and if not who the hell cares.
Bye y'all!
YOU ARE READING
trying to feel better
Romancethese are all true thoughts and feelings. they belong to me and I've decided to share them with you. in hopes that i will one day feel better. most of these will be about a boy. and the rest will be about me. please be kind.
