Lemon Fails

Fuck Me In The Ass Cause I love Jesus!

Welcome my friends to the new chapter of Lemon Fails. You Might ask yourself, why me, Zuki, is writing on english and this has to do with the following chapter; Jesus x Reader. I already teased it on a few times, but um wether Catholic or Atheist, so I just hope, my god will forgive me my sin today. And the countless others, comprising of the book.

The today's sponser of the chapter is ZuFaulUmAuszusuchen, thank you for the already second book you send me. Lots of love for this support <3

to celebrate reaching over 150 reads i have decided to do a one shot with absolotley no context than Jesus and u, enjoy!

At first I have to admint, that this Oneshot isin the middle of the whole Story... I dont get why?

Also, the Oscar for finding this Story goes to....

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A simple break whould have been enough I dont get why the fuck there are those Stripes?

Jesus and y/n lay down facing each other,

This is supposed to be "layed down facing each other" because of way complicated gramar rules I can not explain but I can fullfill in my essays.

Jesus brushed a stray hair out of her face

Not only dogs and wild animals are straying- Also hair now lmao.

leaning closer to so their lips were almost touching.

Only almost? Btw I got a lil Real Life Story;
I was visiting with Anna the Dokomi some time ago, and she took a photo of me and a Cosplayer of Daki. When I thanked her, her Boyfriend came to me and handed me a visiting Card where her fucking Onlyfans Name was written on it. So uhm yeah Unfortunatly, there aren't any Reddit Leaks :(

"sexy time?"

LMAO WTF IM SCREAMING!

Jesus' warm breath lingering on y/'s lips

PRESENT PROGRESSIVE IS THE WRONG GRAMMAR!!!!! And yeah That's it...

as they lean in giving yjesus a passionate kiss.

When the breath is already this stinky, that it manifastes itself and leans into a kiss XD

"yeah"

Thats why we're here.

y/n wheezed

I read "sneezed"

breathes from teh kiss.

*dramatic Hand gesticulture* TEH!

y/n's fingers trailed down jesus' Dress Thing

Jesus was casually clad in a Toga. Simply because the power of the Roman Empire due this time.

as Jesus rolled over to lay on his back,

Reminds me on my Smut of Chapter 100, where Dylan let made the Reader everything by herself lol.

y/n leaning over him taking Control.

READER IS TAKING DOMINACE! I REPEAT GUYS READER IS TAKING THE DOMINANCE!

they stared deeply into jesus' eyes

Who is they?

before reaching the hem

Is this some Slang I don't know of?

and pulling it over jesus' head.

Oh, this is a typo! But it's still a toga, he is wearing.

leaving him in nothing.

Can we shortly appreciate my autocorrection on my Laptop, which randomly sets words into chaps?

"do u go commando or sumfin lol?"

Aight *Takes a shot of bleach*

y/n Questions Jesus.

Im also questioning myself why am I doing this?

Jesus blushes and turns his head away.

I see Jesus! U act like the biggest mf, turn water into wine and then u r submassive? This is some serious plottwist.

and then

why is there a Point when it's supposed to be a comma?

brought his back by y/n switfly pulling their Shirt over their head.

I got it! The Reader uses they/them pronouns! But I have to admint that I have several Problems to read and understand it. I'd prefer the usual pronouns.

(Disclaimer! Im not transphobe or something else, I'm just talking about my personal difficulties with reading in general- This has Nothing to do with misgendering or something.)

y/n licks all the way down

MAKIN MY WAY DOWN TOWN!

his Body

Body crazy, curvy wavy! Big Tiddies! Low waist!

until reaching his hard Bazooka

IM CRYING TEARS! THIS IS NOW THE ONLY SYNOYM I ACCEPT POT PENIS!

without consent(****)

cnc phantasies and such stuff

they Deep throat it causing Jesus to gasp but moan at the same time.

Prepare for Trouble and make it double!

a common misconception is that Jesus dies for our sins

Im not good with Christian stuff but didn't he die on a cross?

when he was crucified on a cross

I Might should continiue reading and yeah...

but he actually died from a blowjob.

When he came when he was gone~

We are done, Ladies and Gentlemen! Lets make the review for today!

Grammar and the whole stuff: yeah, good 8/10

Logic: Amogos

Writing Style: Bazooka, 7/10

Summarized: 15/30

Next time: After you survived my terrible english, we can switch back to the language of the Dichter & Denkers. Next time, we got a Lemon About an smoll lil owl.

~Zuki is out.