Star Wars: A New Change

Chapter 68.

When I got to my own apartment after the Jedi dropped me off, I unpacked my bags and sat on my sofa alone in the dark thinking about how much I screwed up the Star Wars story. Things were not supposed to be this way. I was not supposed to marry Anakin. I was also not supposed to accidentally make Padme like me. It was not as if I wasn't flattered, she was great. Perfect really, but now it would make things super awkward, especially because Anakin knew. Was he going to ask me to stop working with her? We had come so far on our journey to try and stop the war. I didn't need something as silly as this to ruin everything.

I guess I had fallen asleep because I woke up to someone strong picking me up and carrying me to my bed.

"Anakin?" I nuzzled into him sleepily.

"It's okay. You can sleep." His soft voice was like a lullaby and I fell right back asleep as soon as he set me into the bed.

I woke up early in the morning and was relieved when I saw that Anakin was still here, sleeping by my side.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly. I wondered how long he had been awake.

"I was worried you'd already be gone." I said.

"I'm still here my love." he said as he gently stroked my hair.

"Ani?"

"Yes?"

"Why were you angry when you left the cockpit? What's wrong?" I asked. It had been troubling me.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it, my love. Go back to sleep." he said, obviously not wanting to tell me.

"Tell me Anakin." I insisted and he sighed and rolled over onto his back.

"I'm tired of all of this secrecy. I just want to be able to spend time with my wife and not worry about whether we'll be discovered or not. I feel like I can't even really talk to you unless it's here. I want to be able to come home to you every night and not have to sneak out in the morning. I want to be able to tell my wife that she's beautiful and that I love her without worrying whether someone might overhear us. I feel like when I'm not with you, everything is just a waste of time." Anakin's eyes were closed but his jaw was clenched.

"I know Anakin, I know, but we agreed this was for the best if we wanted to be together. You know we can't tell anyone. You're too good of a Jedi to leave, plus both of us are so involved with them it would just be disastrous." I said laying my head on his chest.

"You know it would be easy to start fresh. I could become a pilot or anything I needed to be. We could make our own future and not have to hide anymore." Anakin rubbed my arm gently.

"The Jedi need us Anakin. We have a duty. Once the war is over, I'll probably get to see you a lot more." I told him and he groaned angrily.

"I still have to pretend that you're not my wife though! I have to pretend that I see you as just a friend and not the love of my life. Do you know how hard it is for me to try to hide my emotions about you? It kills me every time I have to say that you're just a friend. You're so much more than that to me and I wish everyone knew." Anakin yelled and I hugged him tightly.

"It's a sacrifice both of us said we were willing to make. Your destiny lies with the Jedi, not me." I told him.

"You don't know that. This isn't like your story. You can't say what I do and don't feel. I am a Jedi, and maybe I'm supposed to be with them, but I also know without a doubt that I was meant to be with you too, and you're far more important to me than the Jedi." Anakin said.

"Don't say that. This is why Jedi aren't supposed to form attachments." I pulled away from him and sat up.

"I can't help how I feel, Ivy. Why is it so important to you that I stay a Jedi?" Anakin sat up as well and looked at me for an explanation.

"Because! You're the chosen one! They need you!" I stuttered.

That was true, but part of me wondered why I was so determined to keep him a Jedi. The Jedi were like family to the both of us, but was I being selfish? If Anakin left, it would sever all ties either of us had to the Jedi. I wasn't ready to let that go. Maybe I was selfish.

"What does that even mean? The chosen one? I'm supposed to bring balance to the force? I don't even know what that means! Things have already changed though, from the way they were supposed to be, right? Who's to say I'm even still the chosen one?" Anakin said angrily.

He had a point. Things had changed. In the movies he turned into Darth Vader and Luke brought him back into the light and he killed the emperor. If things were going like I hoped, he would never even turn into Darth Vader.

"I don't know Anakin! I just know that this is where you're supposed to be! The Jedi are your family!" I said frustratingly.

"You're my family!" Anakin yelled and my heart sank.

It wasn't fair for me to tell him what he could and couldn't do. He loved me. That's all that mattered to him and I couldn't tell him how he felt.

"Is it wrong for me to want to live a nice safe life with the person I love? I could die out there on the battlefield tomorrow! My one regret would be that I didn't have enough time with you. I didn't get to share a life with you." Anakin turned from me and I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I didn't realize I was crying. It looked like he was too.

"Anakin..." I didn't even know what to say. We were so close to ending this war. I could feel it. The Jedi needed Anakin until at least the war was won.

"After the war ends, let's do it. Let's run away together or just spend the rest of our life together. Right now though, we both have jobs to do. The moment the war is over, we'll tell everyone." I said grabbing his hand.

"The war could end up taking years. How many more battles do I have to fight before I'm able to stay home? I know I'm strong and fast and powerful, but there is always a chance I could die. Don't I die in your story?" Anakin asked.

"Everyone eventually dies someday." I said trying to dismiss what he said.

"No, but I die young, right? The Jedi Order will collapse."

"That's not going to happen anymore." I insisted.

"Just promise me. Promise me that once the war is over, you and I can live our lives together. No more secrecy." Anakin turned to me and took my hands in his.

"I promise Anakin. We can live wherever you want. We can even go see your mother and stay with her for awhile, or even live back on Tatooine if you want." I told him and he looked at me with hope in his eyes.

"I would love to see my mother. I worry about her often. Tatooine isn't a safe place." he said grimly.

"Your mother can take care of herself, and she has Cliegg, Owen and Beru to take care of her as well." I told him and he nodded.

"I still can't express how much it meant to me, you staying behind with my mother. You didn't have to, but you did. I will forever be grateful." Anakin said and I smiled.

"I'm glad I stayed with her. She's wonderful and I couldn't leave her alone. Not until she was at least out of slavery." I rubbed Anakin's arm and he grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"I don't know how you came to be in my life, but I swear I will never take you for granted. I love you so, so much." He kissed my hand again and I hugged him tightly.

"I don't know how I ended up here either, but I'm glad. Meeting you was the best thing that's ever happened to me." I told him and he kissed me gently.

"You and Padme better figure out how to end this war quickly." he said, his forehead resting against mine.

"We'll do our best." I promised and he kissed me again.

"Good. Now go back to sleep. There's still a few hours until the morning." Anakin kissed my forehead and wrapped me in his arms as he laid back down onto the bed.

I snuggled against him but couldn't go back to sleep. There was way too much on my mind