love, lupin

nineteen

November 17th, 1976
Wednesday

"Remus the rumours about us are still floating, you're only going to start it up again by dragging me in here."

Remus hadn't really thought about it like that and he smiled sheepishly down at Jack. He could see her clearly in the wand lit storage cupboard and she was staring up at him unimpressed.

"sorry, just really needed to get you on your own." Remus once again didn't really think once again and Jack's cheeks flushed at his words.
"Remus, I'm flattered. Really I am, but you're just not really my type." Her tone was apologetic and Remus frowned down at her.
"What?" He asked, "No, Jack! That's not what I meant." Jack coloured even deeper.
"Oh sorry."

Remus felt awkward now as he was sure Jack did. There was a tense silence between them but Jack broke it.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Ah right." Remus spoke after he'd cleared his throat. "Let me just.." The light went out for a moment as he cast Muffliato and he almost had a heart attack when he recast lumos and was face to face with a Grindylow looking Jack. Seconds later it was Jack again and she was practically wetting herself infront of him.
"That wasn't funny Jack." Remus seethed as he winced at the slow movement of his canines slipping back to normal.
"It so was. You should have seen your face bud."

Remus waited till she was done laughing before he began speaking again.

"Okay, I'm ready." She sighed out as she wiped away a tear.

Remus had racked his brain all morning trying to figure out a way to tell Jack about Oaks as well as his decision to put Crouch through. In the end he decided that not beating around the bush would be the best idea.

He hoped the exchange would be swift or they'd both be late to Runes but he hadn't counted on it so that's why he'd chosen Runes, they were both good at it so didn't have much to lose.

"Jack, Oaks is dead."

Her smile was there for another moment as if she hadn't registered what he'd said. And then she had. Her face dropped.

"Oaks?" It was Remus' turn to frown at her question. She'd forgotten him?

"Oaks, Oliver Oaks. He-"
"I know who he is!" Jack screamed at him and whacked his chest to which Remus grunted at. "I know.." She broke and her forehead hit Remus' chest with a silent thud as small wails left her mouth. Remus put one hand on her back and rubbed it awkwardly.

Jack just cried on him and as he focused on the rapidly changing colours of her hair he felt his own swell of discomfort in his stomach.

blonde. black. green.

Was he the only one who hadn't cried? He wasn't entirely sure if  Regulus had or was going to cry. But Evan had. Jack was. Remus had known Oaks longer then Jack had and she was evidently more upset then him.

blue. blonde. red.

Remus was of course upset, he'd liked Oaks alot. He showed alot of promise as a soilder. His chest had hurt when he found out but he hadn't cried and wasn't going to anytime soon. It was a little odd because he felt like he was meant to, like he had too, wanted too even. But he couldn't.

ginger. yellow. brown.

He felt like a terrible person for it.

black. red. green.

It also made him wonder. Had he been instructed a more vigorous training the the rest of the boys, and Jack? He already knew that his training regime had been lengthened and structured to fit standard to have a werewolf completely submit at one word. Lord Voldemort hadn't needed to utter that word yet and Remus didn't consciously know it either. Fenrir had used it a few times but that was it.

ginger. blonde. black.

Remus understood that a werewolves emotions getting out of hand could become dangerous, Wilbur Smith in his first year was evidence. He had known his emotions had been raggled into line over the years but suddenly something felt wrong. Really wrong. He went over it all and realised the only emotion he could portray properly was anger. He'd considered the time he'd cried just before be fucked up Sirius Black but even then he'd cried out of anger.

auburn. blonde. white.

"You will not remember this conversation." Fenrir growled, Remus was stood compliantly with his jaw in his replacement father's hand. His grip was harsh and Remus could only just gather the thought that there were going to be bruises before they were wiped away. Fenrir lowered his wand. "Now leave."

He didn't feel or tell his body move, but he was moving. Towards the door.

"Yes Sir."

"Remus?"

Remus blinked and realised Jack was now staring up at him with a permanent honey blonde crown of hair. Her eyes were red and puffy.

"Was there anything else you needed to tell me?" She asked, she looked like she wanted to break down crying again but she was holding herself well.

"Right. Yes." He told her with a vague nod. He felt the memory dwell at the back of his mind as he spoke. He felt like he needed to hold onto it, Remus hadn't remembered that conversation. It was like the first time he'd heard it but it was definitely his memory. Not a false one.

"The second thing is that of course since Oaks is dead we've needed a replacement." Jack brightened up at this.
"Another girl?" She asked and Remus realised he hadn't even considered a girl.
"Not exactly."
"Well what about it then? " Jack pressed and Remus took a long breath

"Lord Voldemort asked me if I could recruit someone. Well he didn't ask, he told me I had to by Christmas or I'd die." Jack just stared at him, "Probably by his hand."

Still nothing from Jack but an expectant and impatient look.

"And ive already chosen who."

"Barty?" Remus gave her a surprised look but she just shrugged, "He's the obvious option Remus."

"You're not upset?" Remus queried a little confused.
"A little," she sniffled and wiped at the wetness of her cheeks with the sleeve of her robes before she reached forward and patted down the wet patch on the Slytherin jumper he wore under his robes and then straightened his robes with a huff. "But I have to agree with your decision. Barty would be a great candidate. Beside, he'll be happy to finally be included in our secret."

"Oh?" Remus wondered and raised brow in a way that seemed authoritive.

"I haven't told him anything, don't you worry sir." Her tone turned sarcastic and dry as she uttered the word 'sir', "We forget he's a Ravenclaw, he's observant and he knows somethings up."

Remus thought over her words and they were true. He did often underestimate Crouch's intelligence because his childishness and recklessness seemed to distract Remus from it. Or so he guessed. And despite the blue and bronze tie, Barty Crouch Jr didn't look very smart either.

"Why hasn't he said anything then?"
"He knows how to respect a secret Remus, I'm sure you can tell he has a handful of his own."
"I can."

There was a silence.

"Well we really must be going now." Jack rushed out and unlocked the door with a spell and pushed it open.

"Speak of the devil." Remus grumbled and slipped past Jack and walked purposefully past Crouch who had a mischievous look on his face.

"You really should hurry Jack, we're already late to Runes as it is."  He waved his hand for her to follow and he heard the rush of her footsteps.

"Crouch?" He called and looked over his shoulder at the Ravenclaw who hadn't minded being left behind.
"Yes Remus?" The brunette hummed with a childish smile.
"Get back to lesson or I'll have to take housepoints." Remus snapped and an unfazed Barty brought his hand to his head and saluted Remus.

"Yes sir." He spoke sarcastically.