love, lupin

fifty-nine

February 12th, 1977
Saturday

Remus thought the party was awkward.

He really did. But this.

Even though he had apologised, this was a whole other level of awkward. Aside from the chatter around them from other groups, the Gryffindors and Remus were sat in complete silence, not a peep from any of them. Not even from MacDonald or even Lily, though they were sure to side with Potter so it wasn't a surprise really.

Potter sat across from him, smug smirk and the small crescent marks on his neck painfully obvious. Remus had to keeo averting his eyes, unable to even look at the damage he'd done. There was the start of a bruising aswell and it made Remus feel sick.

He didn't like feeling sick about hurting people.

He used to relish in it, anticipate it, and he still did at most times but right now he couldn't bear it, he couldn't even find the confidence to gloat or continue to put on a threatening stance to the Gryffindor.

He felt small.

Maybe it was because Potter was Black's- no- Sirius' friend and Remus wanted to make a good impression on him or it really was just that Remus was changing. Maybe ge didn't want to hurt people as much as he used to. There was no more of that random urge to just rip someone's throat out with his teeth, no more needing to pick a fight.

Merlin, this was bad. He couldn't soften up. He didn't want to soften up but yet here he was, cowering from the damage he'd inflicted on another.

Remus cursed his temper as his eyes met the scrutinising ones of James Potter from the millionth time that Lunch.

He wasn't entirely sure what he'd done for James Potter to complete lose any trust or civilisation with him. He was like an angry guard dog.

He stood and everyone looked at him, Pettigrew flinching, making Remus frown.

"I'm gonna go." he told them all and as he went to throw his leg over the bench three hands reached for him. Only one made contact

There was a small variety of the term "no don't go" spoken by Sirius, MacDonald and Lily.

Remus looked down at Sirius' hand on his wrist and his stomach flipped and cheeks turned red. It set his skin on fire. He instinctively glanced at Potter who was glaring daggers at the contact.

Remus broke it.

"I really should...the atmosphere is not good. I dont want to ruin all of your days." Remus told them and Sirius frowned,
"meet me later?" He asked, tone hopeful and Remus nodded slightly,
"yeah sure, usual place?."

Sirius smiled and his hand tapped Remus' hip gently and that same burning feeling on his wrist erupted on his hip and he found himself craving
the contact again but all he did was offer the boy a smile and turn away,

"Oi!" Remus paused and looked back at Potter, shoulders hunched, "his hoodie."

Remus glanced down at the black fabric and Remus' cheeks flared up red again, he nodded,
"right, yeah." He began to take it off.

"Greyback, no, its fine. Give it back later, its cold anyway." Sirius insisted and Remus sent one more wary look in Potters direction and took off the hoodie. Black's expression withered, "Remus.." He spoke in a hushed voice as he took the hoodie.

Remus gave him a wobbly smile and he straighted his shoulders and took in a deep breath.

"I'll see you later mate."

He walked away as quick as he could.

Merlin he hated the expression he left on Blacks face.

All he heard before leaving the hall was the start of a row between the two best friends,
"-happy for me?"
"You're not happy-"