love, lupin

seventy-five

May 7th, 1977
Saturday

Remus was stressed.

He knew Dumbledore knew.

He knew that Dumbledore knew that Remus knew that he knew.

Potter had told him yesterday. Potter had gotten permission to go to a meeting and bring Remus.

But just Potter.

He tried to get Sirius and Pettigrew in but Dumbledore said that all of them disappearing from school that day was harder to excuse then just two.

So there Remus was. Sat on a stone bench outside of Dumbledores office with Potter sat beside him.

"Remus you'll be fine." Potter reassured, placing a hand on his back and patting it awkwardly. They were getting along better but it could still be awkward at times, especially when it was just the two of them.

"So they know I'm a werewolf and that's it? They- They don't know-"
"Just that you're a wolf Remus. Nothing more."

Remus nodded and took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair and feeling a bit empty as his hand slid out into the air rather then through the mullet. He still missed it and he remembered seeing the sad look on Marks face when they came back to school.

Remus apologised.

Mark said it was okay and he could always redo it for Remus.

Remus agreed but they never got around to it.

"Why won't you tell me what you've suspected?" Remus asked, "Its about me so I think I hace the right to know."
"Not yet Remus." Potter said and he met Remus' eyes apologetically, "I wanted to tell you but- Sirius didn't think you were ready. Nor that I should tell you before hand because it could freak you out."
"Theres bot much that can freak me out anymore Potter. I killed my friend."

Potter flinched,
"I know. I saw."

Remus squeezed his eyes shut as the scene played before him again.

Jack's body falling to the floor.

He opened his eyes and wiped angrily at the tears that had escaped his eyes,
"Fucks sake." He gritted. And he wiped and wiped but they wouldn't stop. They kept falling,

"You're allowed to cry Remus.." Potter said as his hand found Remus' shoulder and Remus looked at him with tear streaked cheeks,
"I- I'm the one who killed her, I don't deserve- There's no way I can be allowed-"
"You didn't have a choice mate," Potter said and Remus choked on a sob as he was pulled into a hug, "remember that okay?"

Remus quivered and he squeezed Potter like his life depended on it.

Then there was a click and the sliding of stone echoed around the hallway.

Remus pulled from the hug and wiped at his eyes,
"I assume that means we need to go up?"
Potter nodded and after Remus composed himself and an oddly comforting pat on the back from Potter they ascended the stairs.

Remus thought he'd get an angry look and an angry lecture but Dumbledore gave him a smile,
"Mr Potter explained your situation to me Mr Greyback and I have to say you're a very brave young man for doing what you're doing."
"I think it's cowardly." Remus responded,
"How so?" Dumbledore asked as he leaned forward on his desk and smiled. he seemed genuinely interested so Remus answered truthfully,
"Of course I believe it's for the better, changing sides..but I'm running away from the problem that I'm the root of. The New Generation was built upon me being the leader no matter how long it took to train me, it's my regime and my problem and I'm not even trying to solve it, I'm just running and hiding behind people I know can protect me. " Remus said and Dumbledore nodded,