love, lupin

fifty-four

January 29th, 1977
Saturday

Remus didn't show to his next potions lesson on Friday, or any of his lessons that Black was in. Nor had he really spoken to Jack, avoiding all his lessons with her aswell. Remus had been to one lessson and that was Arithmancy. He'd walk past Evan like the blonde didn't exist.

In a matter of days he'd regressed to how he'd been before the summer. Alone.

Remus didn't mind being alone, he found a sort of comfort in the solace that constant company had caused him to forget. He never wanted to forget it again.

Laying a big part of him flat out to Black like that three days prior had given Remus a big shock. He'd told him so much, so much more than he was sure he'd ever feel comfortable telling anyone. He let out an emotional side, albeit Black had seen him cry more than once before, but the confessions he'd made he hadn't even realised were all his feelings until then. He hadn't realised he'd wanted to kiss Black until after the confession escaped his own lips.

Remus had also given a hint to having some sort of affiliation with the New Generation. Oh if only Black knew how deep his affiliation ran, Remus wouldn't be standing where he was right now.

He'd be detained in the ministry probably undergoing questioning or a trial for his death.

Remus' friendliness suffered over the course of the three days. His aura got darker, tenser, more unapproachable then he'd been in a while. He'd skipped his lesson with Snape yesterday and neither Spencer, Lewis or Dibbens even attempted to talk to him. Remus didn't even have to look at them to warn them off. Or maybe someone had cautioned them.

Remus had also regressed to just staying in bed unless he needed the toilet or he took a short walk.

He would just lay there in the dark and stare blankly at either the roof of his bed or the velvet curtains that enclosed him in his own bubble.

Remus didn't feel okay. He was drained and more closed off the he'd ever been and he wished that he hadn't developed the emotions he had. He wanted to be able to feel nothing again, then he would be okay. He would feel okay.

He surprisingly hadn't cried. He'd expected it from himself because getting his tears back had made him a crybaby but it hadn't happened. He was a bit grateful he hadn't. He didn't think he could deal with a headache as well as an everything else ache.

He had adopted a weak muffling spell on his bed. He could hear everything outside at a muffle. Not that any of them really spoke in the room when Remus was there. Which was always.

Spencers had been the one who lasted the longest out of his roommates. He didn't say anything to Remus but he left the record player on when he left. It was predominantly Bowie but he'd put something else on occasionally.

He even left his records out incase Remus wanted to change it. But he never did.
He'd also bring dinner up for Remus. And a sandwich for lunch.

He could hear speaking from outside his bed.

Remus pulled his wand out from under his pillow and waved a counter spell and the speech became clear,
"He's still in there?" He heard a familiar voice ask, he couldn't pinpoint who.
"He was in there before dinner, he was in there all day yesterday and Thursday." Dibbens. "I feel like I haven't seen his face in days which i have-"

Remus sat up and listened carefully.

"Do you know what happened? Any of you?" The voice interrupted and he assumed there were red cheeks and head shakes,
"He won't even speak to his friends let alone us. The last I saw of him on Wednesday was when he went off with Sirius Black after dinner and be stormed in just before curfew but we were all half asleep."