love, lupin

thirty-seven

December 21st, 1976
Tuesday

Remus had never slept better in his life, he couldn't remember when he got into bed but he was there and it had never felt this welcoming before.

He felt refreshed and like he'd slept for a little too long but nothing harmful. The moment his eyes blinked open it was like someone had hit him around the head with a bludger and suddenly all the comfort of the bed meant nothing.
He let out a cry of pain, curling in on himself and cradling his head in an attempt to help it feel better. It didn't.

"Remus, are you awake?" He heard someone ask, it was Evan. Evan.
"Oh my Merlin, Evan." Remus gushed, his voice loving and soft as he pushed himself up to sit despite the pain, "It hurts." He reached for him blindly as his vision was blurred and he felt arms wrap around him and he pressed into him and screwed his eyes shut as his nose burrowed into the crook between Evans neck and shoulder. He smelled so good, like always.

"What hurts? It's your head right?" Evan asked and Remus felt the train of fingertips on the back of his head in a loving way, "there?"

Remus didn't like to ever call himself dependent on something so he wouldn't say he was dependent on Evan he was sure an anchor for Remus, making sure he didn't drift from himself, that small bit of hope that comes in the form of a torch in a dark room. Evan was his favourite thing. He was sure a part of him started feeling it long before his body begin to give off signals and it killed him for not accepting it sooner.

"No. Well yes. Its just everywhere." He mumbled against Evans skin, his lips pressed to the blondes neck in an affectionate way.
"Oh Remus.." Evan whispered and his head leant so gently on Remus' he barely even felt it.
"I'm fine, I'm always fine." Remus told him as he turned his head to look up at Evan and the younger looked at him with a wobbly smile. He was so worried and Remus hated it, he didn't like being coddled or worried about even if it was Evan. It made him feel absolutely pathetic.

Remus' hand inched towards Evans and he slipped his fingers into Evans, he looked alarmed and had moved their hands in between them.

His head still ached and he was angry that he couldn't remember why and when he fell asleep. The last thing he could remember was coming out of the first practice with Snape yesterday? Was it yesterday that happened?

"What day is it?" Remus asked as his thumb traced circles on the back of Evans hand.
"Rem its Wednesday."
Remus' head shot off of Evans shoulder and he looked him dead in the eye.
"What?"
"You've been sleeping for more than 24 hours."
"What happened?"
Evan didn't say anything and Remus got the message that he wasn't going to tell him. Not yet atleast.

He felt he deserved to know though, it was him who was out for so long. He was the one who lost a whole day, but he didn't ask.

He had no idea what could have caused it. The lessons were fine. He hadn't been in a fight. He hadn't fallen over. He hadn't hit his head, that was obvious because there wasn't a pressure spot of pain, it was just everywhere.

The pounding in his head got louder as he tried to remember.

He needed to stop. He needed a distraction and he needed one desperately.

Remus looked at Evan and hazel met blue.

His hand slipped from Evans and cupped his cheeks,
"Woah, Remus. Wait-"
"Shut up, I feel fine" Remus lied as his gaze fell to pink lips and he pulled Evan forward,
"Wait-"

Evan hadn't actively tried to pull away and when Remus kissed him, a hand slithered around the back of Remus' head and fingernails grazed the small hairs on the back on neck head.