love, lupin

eighty-four

August 8th, 1978
Tuesday

"Okay Remus, chuck it all up." James said, slapping him on the back as Remus retched onto the floorboards.

Merlin he didn't feel well. It was all too much for him.

The apparation. The public appearances. Barty and Evan.

"Whats going on?" Remus spoke after he'd wiped his mouth and he turned to look at James who towered over him from where he was sat on the floor next to a puddle of his own vomit.

"We need to talk."
"I gathered that much." Remus muttered and he stood up and when he looked back at James he had his notebook in hand and Remus gave him an exhausted look and when James realised he was staring the brunette froze.

He awkwardly put the book away.

"Sorry. Im sure Sirius told you about my...fixation. It got better when you vame back but all this Guardian stuff sent me into over drive." James explained and Remus gave him an uneasy look, "Don't worry, I can control myself."

Remus observed him. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept inna couple days and Remus entertained the idea that he probably hadn't. He didn't look well.

"James-"
"Don't ask questions. You just need to listen to me, Sirius will be here soon."
"Whats wrong with that?"
"Remus listen to me. Sirius isn't thinking for himself- well he is, every decision he's making is his but hes under heavy influence. How often does he just dissappear for a couple hours?" James questioned and Remus gave him a funny look,

"Often, I- I just assumed he was in a different part of the safe house. I could never check because im not allowed to leave his room." Remus explained and his fingers messed with the clasp of the cloak and he let it fall to the ground behind him, the displacement of weight making him feel better, "You're telling me he leaves the safe house?"

James nodded and he walked towards a stack of books and picked up the top one. Another notebook.

"Making notes on you has made it easy to learn to observe others and this is on Sirius." He wagged the book in the air and Remus watched it carefully as James sat down on the bed in the corner.

His wand was plucked from under his pillow and the vomit was vanished.

" Come sit. "

Remus obeyed and he sat down beside James and his hand ran through his hair with a huff.

"So hold on, you're telling me that Sirius is brainwashed?"
"No. Not quite. Its nothing like that. Hez just- Remus when we came to you at Aberforths it was the first time me and Pete had seen Sirius in months." James explained and Remus tilted his head.
"Really?" Remus asked. It seemed unbelievable. They were as close as ever. Or they seemed it.
"Yeah. We're good actors." James laughed, "Either way it was easy to miss with how excited about you and the papers I was, how soft Sirius was being and the only thing that really gave it away was Petes solmeness but his inability to hold information assisted in seeming it was normal."

Remus thought back and he couldn't seem to even now notice anything that seemed tense between the three of them.

"Either way, he'd been distant, that's what I was trying to get at. It hasn't stopped even now that your back. He's so focused on ending this stupid war that he's destroying himself." James explained and Remus watched the notebook open and James flipped the pages and he stopped at one that had no tabs.

"He's under the impression that if he listens to Moody then you'll get out of the Dementors kiss."
"Moody?"
James nodded,
"He's told the order you'll receive the kiss but hes told Sirius that he'll let you run after the jobs done. Whether he's telling the truth or not, i don't know. But Emmeline- Emmeline Vance, she went to school with us- got this from Sirius' room."

James lifted a piece of paper from the notebook and held it out to Remus between two fingers and Remus took if hesitantly.

"Its a letter from Moody, to Sirius. You don't need to read it but its evidence that im not making this up." The brunette shut the notebook and he tossed it to the side, "The letter details instructions for the defense we just put up at the Thames, it reiterates multiple times that if he makes you do what he wants then he's one step closer to sparing your life. 'Make sure he saves people and he'll live' 'Make sure you prioritise the Angels and he'll live' Its all fucked up really."

Remus looks down at the letter.

"We don't know if it's him just trying to get his way or he's really telling the truth. Moodys always been a bit difficult in that way." James explained and Remus handed him back the letter,
"Why are you telling me this when we can't do anything about it?" Remus stood up and he swiped up the cloak on the floor,
"Because we can. Me, Pete and Emmeline have a plan."

"Where is he?" A voice roared from beyond the door and James looked up at the door in a panic and then at Remus.

"This is the plan." James told him and shoved a bit of paper in his hand, "Don't let Sirius see it."

The door slammed open and they both turned to the door and James' eyes lost their shine when they made contact with Sirius.
"Sirius-"

"Remus let's go."

"Sirius-" Remus tried and Sirius gave him a scared look,
"Let's go."

Remus walked towards him and took his outstretched hand and he looked back at James who was smiling,
"See you soon Remus." He grinned and saluted him as he was tugged out of the door.

"What did he talk to you about?" Sirius snapped but it wasn't an order. Remus felt no haze. He didn't want to know.

"Notebook stuff yanno?" Remus smiled with a laugh and Sirius didn't even look at him,
"Of course." He said and Remus clenched the piece of paper scrunched in his fist.
"Where are we going?" Remus asked and he flinched as his mask flew into Sirius' free hand from behind him and Remus glanced at it before looking up at Sirius.

"To my room."
"Are you staying with me?" Remus asked as they walked to a fireplace, but he already knew the answer.

"Sorry, I can't." Sirius said and he moved Remus into the fireplace and squeezed his hand.
"Why?"
Sirius' brows furrowed,
"You've never questioned me before."

Remus gave him a desperate look. Maybe he just had to keep Sirius with him rather then with Moody.
"I just..you're always gone and it gets lonely." Remus excused and Sirius smiled and he let go of his hand and he reached up and pat Remus' cheek,
"You're adorable Remus. I'll be as quick as I can."

He handed Remus a handful of floo and Remus threw it down.

He stepped out of the fireplace and he coughed at the smoke and ash before he collapsed onto Sirius' bed and he squeezed his eyes shut as he thought about Sirius and waht james said.

He unfurled the paper and he stared at it.

The plan.

The only thing Remus felt was important.

Now he just had to wait for Pete.

A/N
so i actually sat down, started to plan the lead up to the end, stressed, walked ny dog, sat down to plan , stressed and then planned the lead up to the end. so we have it settled and with that news i am actually happy to say that we are nearing the end!
a little sad BUT it means i can start the rewrite soon because this news has me speeding through writing- sort of.

There will be a max of 95 chapters and my plan goes up to 90 BUT there may be a few more than 90 because i want to add a few fillers that aren't dire to the plot but i feel would be nice to add in :) actually gonna finish writing the first filler after publishing this 🤭