Barca B's

Mental Health

Ona's POV

"Mmmm back home." I stretched as we all got up to get off the plane. Vegas and Florida will be remembered as a great time, but I'm so happy to be home.

"(I've missed you Barcelona.)" Mapi smiled as she stepped down the jet steps.

"I think we all do honestly." Blake nodded as she agreed with the defender's statement.

"You don't seem that happy to be home-well back to Barcelona." I corrected myself mid-sentence.

"This is home Ona...let's go talk. Hey B...can you and Aitana catch a ride home with someone?" Blair motioned to Blake and she gave us a small nod knowing that we had to talk a bit.

"(Come on love.)" I gently grabbed her hand as we walked towards her car.

"I love you. I just want to say that before we start talking." I was extremely nervous. There was no reason for me to be. If anything that trip just proved to me how much she loves me.

"(I love you too) I'm not upset with you. There's no need for you to worry Ona." I ran my thumb across her hand gently as she opened my door for me.

"Then what is this about?"

"Me. And some issues on my end that I feel you should know."

"Okay I'm listening."

"I hope so." She joked with me a bit trying to ease the tension. She was partially successful as I gave her a toothless smile and blushed.

"As you know I've been through a lot and I haven't always had the best mental health because of that. I went through a really rough period that we haven't talked about yet. I just feel like I'm slipping again and I'm afraid of what that'll lead to so this is me trying me best to communicate-."

"You're not trying mi amor. You're doing it. You've gotten better and if its two steps forward one step back so be it. I'll be right in front of you holding your hand I promise." I gently grabbed her right hand as she continued to drive with the left.

"You promise?"

"I do. So I want you to do what you need to do. I'll be here because I love you so much."

"Thanks for fixing the heart you didn't break."

And unfortunately that was true. I knew deep down that it was right. I didn't throw away my heart in order to repair hers and that's what matters. Even if sometimes she made me feel extremely loved or made me feel like love didn't exist. I refuse to give up on her.

I love Blair Laid though and no matter what that'll never change. No matter the highs and lows I couldn't leave even if I wanted to. Because she was my missing piece.

"I was on anti depressants for awhile."

"So...?"

"I'm afraid I'll have to go back on the medicine. And it usually has side effects."

"When was the last time you took meds?"

"Umm...Ona I uh."

"Tell me please?" I pushed her a little. If things are this bad again I'd like to know what triggered these episodes last time.

"When I got raped by the US team doctors."

Fuck.

"Babe-."

"You wanted to know."

"Blair I'm saying I'm sorry for bringing that up." I frowned as she let go of our hands.

"Ona there's not a week that goes by that someone doesn't get too close making me remember and I am not this strong minded celebrity that everyone thinks I am! I-."

I pushed her jaw up to silence her and she looked over at me stunned by my actions. It was a aggressive or bold move sure but she needed to shut up.

"I know you. I'm well aware of your stability or well instability. It doesn't make me love you any less it just reminds me that you're human which you're allowed to be."

She gave me a small nod and I could see tears forming in her eyes. There was still something wrong.

"What else is bothering you about it all?"

"I don't want to go numb again. I hate the medicine but if that's how I sta-I don't know what to do. I've never tried to fight it without that but I can't stand them. Especially because I've never been with someone or stayed with someone on them..."

God, please tell me she's not breaking up with me. I can't take it.

"So what are you saying...?" I looked at her uneasy as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I. Cannot. Lose you. I don't want to take the medicine even if it risks any feelings towards you. So I'm going to have to figure out another way to fight it." We pulled into the driveway and I quickly got out of the car.

"I believe in you." I pushed our lips together as she leaned back against the suv. I could feel the tears running through our lips and my stomach dropped but I'm not letting go.

"Its no longer just you fighting through it all. Its us and we're an unstoppable duo. Now how about we grab our bags and go upstairs to your room...(there's so many ways I can show you why you need to stay.)" I slipped my fingers over the edge of her waistband and pulled her off the car.

"I wouldn't if I were you."

"Wouldn't what?" I looked at her confused.

"Sex...if you use that to keep me happy it'll just become....I don't know addicting and I'll always expect it from you." She frowned and looked slightly embarrassed to admit that.

"(You can have me anywhere at any time.)" I leaned up to whisper in her ear as her face turned bright red. Maybe I wanted to have sex in order to try and forget the issue we'd soon have to deal with. How do I help Blair?

Mental health isn't something I can blame her for but it's not something I'd enjoy dealing with either. As long as we're happy together I'll do everything I can.

"(I'm so glad I fell in love with you.)" Blair's eyes fell down on mine as she gently connected our hands in front of our bodies.

"As am I." Her eyes gently laid on mine as she placed her forehead against mine finally shutting her eyes and just standing there comforted by the connection.

"(Promise to stay for me.)"

"(I promise to push through everything for you Ona. I love you.)" She whispered and pulled me in for a hug again just staying in my hold as long as possible.

But how solid was that promise?