B+Bs: To Stand In A Beast's World

102. Postpartum

Healing wasn't as difficult or lengthy of a task as I imagined. There was some blood and pain and tears—some mine, some my mates—but nothing that couldn't be handled.

I spent most of my time in bed, unsurprisingly, and was carried around everywhere. It didn't bother me. I was actually really grateful that I didn't have to move.

The first few days were chaotic—more for my mates than me. They were getting used to having two very loud and very fragile beings in the house. Well, they were starting to. It was going to take time to really get used to the chaos.

I was a little too out of it to really observe the different interactions around me and chose to sleep. Since I slept a lot, I was able to talk to a frantically running Cooper, who was trying to get back as quickly as possible.

I told him to take his time and come back safely. While two-stripes wasn't weak, it wasn't enough to make me feel like Cooper would be safe from harm. He needed to be very careful, and I made sure he prioritized safety and caution.

It took Cooper two weeks to make it back. In that time, I hadn't left my bed. I was healing fine, but I couldn't make myself get up.

I'd naturally heard of postpartum depression, but I think I took it too lightly. No, I know I took it too lightly. I felt like a robot going through the motions. The more I wanted to fix it, the worse I felt.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to Harvey.

Harvey frowned deeply in concern, but his eyes were warm and comforting. "It's okay, Grace. You don't have to apologize for feeling the way you do." He placed a hand on Grace's slumped shoulder as he gazed at her with unwavering affection. "Take your time."

Harvey was like a mug of hot chocolate on a bitterly cold day. I warmed up from the inside out, but sadly, the feeling only lasted a short time. Thankfully, it was still there when I received Cooper with a hug. But it unfortunately dimmed soon after and I had to force the smile on my face. I hope it wasn't noticeable.

Of course the the family noticed. Even the male cubs noticed. The boys were quite sad that their mother hadn't been able to play with them lately. But their father was taking them out to do more things, so they weren't super bored.

The tiger cubs had become much more independent, but Grey and Blue were momma's boys through and through. It was a good thing their mother didn't mind them taking their naps by her side. They were careful not to be pushy, so their father often let them.

The wolf pups got jealous a lot. But since they couldn't sit as still as their older brothers, they couldn't stay. They took to harassing their favorite tiger guard instead.

...

Time continued to pass and they were well into the drought of the hot season. They were thankfully not suffering thanks to their preparations, but the heat and dry conditions still got to the masses.

Because of everything going on, poor Bai Qingqing was all but forgotten. The soon-to-be young woman had her share of battles that kept her busy, but that didn't stop her from missing Grace. They were so close physically, yet she could never see Grace anymore. That coupled with the heat made her dispirited.

She had not come up with any new revolutionary ideas and stuck with improving her loom. Soap was another thing she was working hard to refine. Her four guards helped her a lot as usual. Her catching feelings was not shocking, although, she did try to hide it.

Bai Qingqing finally came to terms with the fact that she couldn't go home. It only took her a year, but...better late than never.

It wasn't like she completely gave up, she just didn't think that hedging all of her bets into something that probably wouldn't happen was a good idea. She was able to reconcile that emotional aspect.

And now that she had, figuring out what to do next was on her mind. Grace said she'd be protected until her 18th birthday. That was, maybe, 6 months away.  It wasn't long at all. Was there any chance she could keep working for Grace?

Even if she did, it wouldn't be the same type of protection. Bai Qingqing would have to make a choice. She'd have to choose a suitor to be her mate...

The idea did not repulse her and a certain person came to mind. She furiously swiped at the air, shooing off the image of a strong and reliable back. With hot cheeks, she rolled over in her pile of furs.

Bai Qingqing could probably choose a mate, but the idea of taking multiple spouses was still off-putting. Maybe the village Grace was building would be safe enough for her to only take one?

Frowning, she remembered the lectures she'd received in the past on why there couldn't be just one male to a family.

But what if it was possible? Qingqing still wondered, hoping to somehow live out her ideal type of romance and marriage without putting out her potential spouse.

She'd continue to fret about this for some time, but the world wouldn't wait for her to come up with an ideal solution.

...

A month passed by quickly to some and agonizingly slow to others. The majority of the city was ready to leave and the rest were finishing their preparations. They had a month and a half before the great disaster befell them and many were eager to go.

The ape king finished his last-minute preparations and tied his precious, new emerald around Qin's neck. Helping Grace had brought him a lot of stress, but the reward was even greater than that.

Qin's eyes lit up, but her lips turned down. "A pity I can't display it properly."

Bard held the sigh in his heart. "Yes, my love. Though, no jewel could compare to your beauty."

Qin drank up the praise and her tone softened. "Of course not." She was momentarily satisfied by his response and more so by the emerald. Her mate had come through for her. "When do we leave?"

Bard did not miss the eagerness in Qin's voice. He was scared for her, but she did not feel the same. "In two days."

"Hmm." Qin nodded as she fiddled with the small pouch around her neck. "Good. Good." Qin imagined the world outside with a smile pulling at her lips.

She'd been cooped up in the castle since she'd been here. That had been okay with her since it was far better than her cave under the sea. But now that there was a chance for something new, she wanted to take it. Of course, that was only if she remained comfortable while she took that chance.

Bard saw the faraway look in his mate's eyes and chose to give her time to daydream. His mate had little idea of how dangerous it would actually be outside the city. Not that he would let those dangers near her...

Despite all of his preparations, it might not be enough.

Bard believed he could keep Qin safe—that wasn't what he feared. The number of wolves, apes, and bears that would follow him would be enough protection. The problem was him keeping their eyes off his mate while he also hid her identity.

What if his mate coveted another as they traveled? After having her to himself for all these years, Bard wasn't sure he could accept that. Qin was his. She relied on him and he gave her all his love...But was that enough? What if Qin wanted more?

A pang in his heart made him wince. He was selfish. So selfish. But he didn't feel guilt. Just sadness. His position afforded him Qin's protection with only him as a mate, but he would lose a good portion of his power when they left the city. No, his power had already been reduced by a lot.

He'd have to spend a lot of time building up his position again. When he did, he would take care of his mate like he always had. But could he convince Qin to wait for him to do that?

He wasn't so sure.