B+Bs: To Stand In A Beast's World

114. Argument

"Curtis, I won't have your children unless you want to help me raise them. I will not kick them out and I won't let anyone hurt them, including you."

Curtis grimaced as the ugly feelings swirled in his gut. This was the second time they talked about this, but it ended the same as the first.

I remained firm and tried to keep my irritation in check. It was the same argument all over again. "I know you don't want them for any other reason than you'd think I'd like them. But Curtis, kids aren't commodities. We don't have them just to push them aside when they stop being useful."

Curtis sucked in a breath and prepared to leave.

"Don't run out on me, Curtis." Not like the last time we had this conversation. "This isn't something you can just run from." I gripped my folded hands so tight they turned white. I hate fighting, but I absolutely will not compromise on this point.

Curtis hesitated, but felt it was better to go. He was upset and he didn't want Grace to get upset because he was. It wasn't his fault that snake males had such a high success rate with impregnation. He couldn't just not secrete the stuff that wouldn't allow him to 'pull out' like the others do. It wasn't in his control.

"Don't take another step," I warned. My throat felt tight and uncomfortable. "Come sit down and talk to me."

Curtis physically hurt as if he was being torn. If he stayed, he'd have to face Grace's anger. If he went away, she'd have a chance to calm down. But what if she tried to talk about this again when he came back?

I stood up while Curtis was being indecisive and blocked his exit. I couldn't say 'No running' any louder than if I yelled it.

Curtis looked on in defeat and tried to hide his hurt. "I'll do as you say."

Before he could change his mind, I grabbed his hand and dragged him back to the cushions of an empty den. The moment the fight started, everyone cleared out like seasoned veterans who knew when a tactical retreat was the right course of action.

I took deep breaths while reminding myself that my common sense and his common sense weren't always going to line up and agree. 'Don't be angry. Don't be angry.' I found that chanting not helpful and changed it. 'Communication. Communication. We can do this.'

Curtis was the opposite. He was busy holing up inside himself while preparing to take the brunt of Grace's ire. "You're angry," he said tentatively.

I pushed out a big breath and dragged another in. "No. I'm upset, not angry."

Curtis looked down at the hand that held his. He upset her again...

"Curtis," I started carefully, "do you understand why?"

"...Because you don't want to have offspring with me?" His sorrow was evident.

I know he's smarter than this, but it didn't stop me from feeling a pang of guilt. "No. Because I won't kick out my kids when their still fresh out of their eggs." That felt weirder to say aloud than I thought.

"..." Curtis said nothing. He was sure he could tolerate his offspring for a season or two, but not as long as Grace wanted to keep them. He...might have to accept that he won't get to mate with Grace unless she is already pregnant with another's brood.

If he wasn't going to talk, I would. "Listen," I said as gently as I could, "I know it isn't easy for you, but I really need you to understand that this is very important to me."

Curtis nodded quietly. He understood. His mate had a different way of seeing her offspring and no presence of a legacy could convince her otherwise.

I ran my hand through my hair, the only act showing my frustration. Condoms would conveniently solve our main problem here, but of course, that isn't available to us.

We had the disgusting concoction that worked as Plan B and I have used it when Curtis couldn't hold back, but that wasn't healthy to drink and I couldn't do it for as much as Curtis sought relief. We just can't use it after every time.

Pulling out was no guarantee, but it was something to reduce the chances of pregnancy. But Curtis's unique biology wasn't allowing that.

As unfortunate as it was, there was only two choices I saw to handle this. But one required me to be pregnant and I wasn't ready for that yet. The horrible feelings from the last pregnancy were too fresh in my mind to jump into another one.

I also felt like an awful mom for how little time I actually spent with my current cubs. Hell, I couldn't even tell with certainty that the wolf cubs had individual personalities yet. I was their mom. I should know.

I should be able to say that Tres prefers frisbee to fetch and Quatro likes naps the most. But I can't, not without asking Shuu first. It makes me feel ill and unworthy. Like a breeder and not a parent.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and failed to clear it. I didn't want my voice to give away how much the idea upset me since Curtis would think I'm upset at him, so I waited. Curtis was considerate enough to give me that time.

"My period," I said after I cleared my throat.

"Period?" Curtis asked. He knew she referred to her estrous, but didn't know why.

"The chances of me getting pregnant during it are next to none." It sounded messy and gross, but as long as I wasn't miserable, I'd try it.

Understanding sparked in Curtis's eyes. "Once a moon...you can't get pregnant once a moon while you bleed." She wasn't bleeding yet, but one day she would start again...

Moon, month, same difference. "Yes. If I'm not feeling really bad, we can mate then." It wasn't a lot to offer, but it was all I could think of to satisfy us both for now.

Curtis's eyes regained their sparkle. "That will be my time?" He leaned forward, feeling much better than before.

"I can't promise it always." I cleared my throat and leaned into his shoulder. "But you can have priority those days. If you have any other suggestions, I'll listen."

Curtis's heartbeat quickened and he smiled. "Hn." He could not think of how to mate without causing pregnancy, so he had nothing to suggest. They'd already tried other ways to satisfy his need, but that ended with Grace's hands glued to his members for a lot longer than was comfortable. Just thinking about it made the blood rush below.

"Grace," Winston said after he quietly walked in.

I had just wrapped Curtis up in a hug; or maybe, it was more accurate to say he had me wrapped up. Either way, we had to part because it was obvious that something happened based on Winston's serious tone.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"We have a visitor."

I frowned. If it was a visitor that Winston informed me of, it was one that called for peaceful relations. "Crocodile?"

Curtis stiffened at the mention of potential competition.

"No," Winston cast a look at the door the rest of the family started piling in from. "The ape king."