ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴡʜᴇɴ [ᴇɴ- ᴘᴏʟʏ]

Bonus: One Year Anniversary (2)

Before you read:

I see that most of you are confused about what scene is going on. For a longer reference, go to the chapter 'Delusional Vents'.
Quick recap- The part 1 of bonus started right after Leah woke up in the hospital after her migraine induced coma. This is a oneshot series with the scenario that she refuses to go back to the boys. 

Trigger Warnings ⚠ 
Gaslighting, slight dubcon, toxic relationships, psychological distress, violence, physical and mental abuse. 

Can't think of more. But yeah. It's loooooooong. Almost 12k. I got carried away while writing.
So buckle up your seatbelts. Grab your headphones too.

Music themes:
1. Aoneko no Torso: Ryuchi Sakamoto
2. Wicked Games: Ursine Vulpine

Good Luck (You'll need it.)

****************

🎵Aoneko no Torso🎵

I did not turn back once as I exited the hospital. I kept my eyes ahead, pace steady. The doctor was still talking to the boys, explaining to them something about my side effects. I was sure they were listening with rapt attention. It was so ironic. I knew they cared enough to listen to the doctor but not enough to see why I didn't want to be around them anymore.

Heeseung's words may have stung. But he wasn't entirely wrong. This was no love. This was straight up harem. Something that shouldn't exist in these times. Who even claimed to love seven people at once? It was just an excuse to my greed. They were revolving around me and I was indeed acting like a whore.

I quickly got inside the cab and shut the door. Once the car started moving, I finally glanced back at the entrance of the hospital. They weren't here yet. This would only buy me time. Because I trusted them to chase after me.

I kept my eyes out of the window. The sky was rolling with dark clouds. The littlest rays of dusk were peeking through. It was there. But not enough for me to keep looking at it. Within no time, I reached my house. I stood in front of the door in horror. The key was still hanging from the lock.

Shit.

I gingerly stepped in, leaving the front door wide open. I checked the entire house to make sure no one had broken in. Once I locked the door, I took another round of all the rooms. My own house, always comforting, now felt so cold and unwelcoming.

The gas cylinder was still on. Spoiled milk still sat on the counter, the putrid smell making me wretch. I locked the kitchen door, not having the willpower to clean that up. The lockers and the almirahs were still intact. And that brought great relief to me. If anything had happened there, I could've never shown my face to my parents.

I collapsed onto my bed in exhaustion. My body still felt sore. Now that the adrenaline was gone, it was becoming more and more prominent. I held my bandaged hand up to examine it. Thankfully, there was no swelling, no damage to any vein, just a minor injury. 

Now that I was alone, I screamed into my pillow. Because goddamn it hurt so bad. Every time I tried to move my fingers, the back of my hand felt like it had been pricked again.

God knows how I bore that pain for so long standing there.

Would I really have ripped the IV off?

It sounded impossible to think of right now. But then...

Resting my hand down, I glanced at the time. I could really use some peace right now. But the soulless silence in the house felt far away from peaceful. The clock ticked endlessly, almost like a hammer to my head.