Overwhelmed

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Prompt: You are in the room with Charlotte and are autistic, when a parent shouts and overwhelm you and she helps you with the help of Marjorie, you are 23 years old

You woke up that morning and something felt off, you got up and got ready for work; you loved your job working with children you worked at the Knight nursery and loved every minute of it. You leave right on time and get to work with 20-minutes to spare, you still feel that something was off, you knew that you had to hide being autistic you got good at masking when in work nobody knew you was autistic and you wanted to keep it that way.

You knew they wouldn't care about being autistic but you was made to feel ashamed of it your parents always told you to hide it and not to say anything or make people aware of your condition; you was on the late shift with Charlotte in the toddler room, you enter the room and the screaming of excited children make you nearly leave the room but you continue to go in and get your shift started "Morning Y/N" you hear Charlotte say to you "Morning Lottie a bit loud in here isn't it" you say to her walking over to the table and sit with the children who are doing an activity "I know it is, kids lets keeping the volume down please" she says to you and then turns to the kids and eventually the room was finally at a volume that you can stand being around; "Y/N, we have knew child starting and Marjorie asked that you be the key person because they are on a one-one" she explains to you just as the child she mention is led in to the room with Marjorie and the parent "that's fine Lottie, but why me" you ask her before standing up and walking over to Marjorie when you see her shrug her shoulders.

"Y/N, this is Lucy and her mother Katie, you are going to be her key person and one-one my love" Marjorie tells you, you look at Lucy and noticed the headphones and her not looking at anyone "hi Katie, I'm Y/N its nice to meet you" you tell Katie before bending down to Lucy's height "Hi Lucy my name is Y/N" you sign to her when she looks up briefly and quickly signs hi back to you; standing back up you see her mother and Marjorie looking at you shocked, you don't say anything to either of them "Lucy is autistic and is verbal but where somewhere new she doesn't speak and only signs" Katie says to you "Lucy I'm going to go ill be back in a couple of hours sweetie have a good day sweetie" you see Katie sign to her daughter Lucy waves bye and walks over to you.

"Lucy, shall we go and sit in the book corner" you sign to her when Marjorie and her mother leave the room, she nods her head and follows you to the book corner, when the other children see you head to the book corner, they all follow and Charlotte looks up when she hears laughter from the corner and sees you sat in the corner with Lucy and the other children. Charlotte noticed that you were pulling at your top and fidgeting around, she decided to keep an eye on you through out the day.

Throughout the day you were getting more and more off and overwhelmed but kept it at bay and made sure that Lucy was okay and not overwhelmed, she was only doing a half days 3 days a week. You see Katie walked in to collect Lucy and you walk over "afternoon Katie, Lucy has had a lovely afternoon and played in the family corner and sat down and enjoyed listening to stories in the book corner" you say to her, you start to stim a bit with your hands and Katie noticed but didn't say anything "you ready to go Lucy, say bye to Y/N" Katie says to her daughter and leaves the room.

It was the end of your shift and you couldn't wait to go home and just relax and calm down you could feel a meltdown happening if you are here any longer, you are tidying the tables when you hear a parent getting loud, you looked over to Charlotte and see her trying to get a parent to calm down and leave, but the parent got louder and finally left after shouting about something and slammed the door. The sound of the door slamming sent you into overdrive, everything became too much; your clothes have been irritating you the noise of the children, the phone call with your parents and what they said to you about 'being too much' you start to stim with your hands trying to calm down.

"No, no stop" you mumbled whilst pacing pulling at your clothes, Charlotte looked over from where she is tiding and noticed you were pacing and doing a motion with your hands, she had noticed through out the day that you were not yourself and were pulling at your top like you were doing now " Y/N are you okay" she asks you quietly whilst walking over to you; you don't hear her stuck in your head and trying to calm down but nothing was working "Y/N, sweetie can you hear me" Charlotte asks you again using her 'nursery' voice but she doesn't get a reply and watches as you go to the corner and sink into it, she follows behind you and grabs the phone ringing it "Marjorie you need to get to the toddler room" she explains to Marjorie over the phone.

"Y/N sweetie its Charlotte" she tries again to get you respond and watches with wide eyes when you say "too much" and to rock back and forth, she noticed that you had your eyes shut and hands over your ears. The door to the room opens and Charlotte looks to see its Marjorie coming in who runs over to where you and Charlotte are in the corner "what happened" Marjorie asks when she was next to Charlotte "I noticed she has been off all day, pulling her clothes and just being really fidgety and not really talking" Charlotte explains "I noticed that too, she signed to Lucy the new girl without being told anything and just making sure that Lucy was comfortable" Marjorie replies to her "Lucy is the new girl with autism isn't she" Charlotte asks, she thinks about everything about you and how you act, not liking certain textures or foods, she looks at Marjorie and sees her nodding her head.

Marjorie and Charlotte watch you and see you to start her bang your head against the wall "Don't do that sweetie you will hurt yourself" Charlotte says and moves her hand behind your head, "Marjorie is Y/N autistic" she asks Marjorie putting it together that you was exhibiting the same behaviours she seen in children and other adults who are autistic "not that I'm aware love they have never mentioned it or disclosed it" Marjorie tells Charlotte who is trying to calm you down. Marjorie moves your hands away from your ears "sweetie lets move you away from the wall" Marjorie says whilst helping Charlotte move you away from the wall "NOO don't touch" you scream both Charlotte and Marjorie looked shocked but moved their hands away from you, they noticed you kept pulling at your shirt collar "off to tight" you say to them but not looking at them "love do you want your shirt off, do you have a vest on underneath" Marjorie asks and helps you remove your shirt when you nod your head and show them that you had a vest too on underneath.

Charlotte stands up and sits behind you when she noticed that you were moving back to the wall "no don't do that, tell us what you need" she whispers to you; "pressure need pressure" you whisper to them both, slowly calming down but still on the edge, you felt like every one of your senses was going wild, you are glad that its quiet. "What about a weighted blanket or something similar" Marjorie asks Charlotte "where would we get a blanket from" Charlotte replies "back seat of my car" you whisper just wanting the pressure, you always make sure there is stuff in your car in case you get overwhelmed and needed help to calm down or just to relax. "Have you got your car keys" Marjorie asks, when you explain where they are and that she can get it out your bag, Marjorie gets up and quickly gets your keys and heads to your car. "Y/N you have autism don't you" Charlotte asks you; you nod your head to her "I mask it but everything got to much" you explain to her "why do you hide it sweetie" she asks you calmly "parents said that I was too much and that I had to hide it" you state to her, Marjorie enter the room with your weighted blanket "this is heavy my love" she says to you whilst placing the blanket on you, they both noticed that you relaxed and calmed down when it was on you "thank you Marjorie" you say to her.

"its okay my love but we do need to have a chat" She explains to you she watches you lean back against Charlotte and noticed you calmed a lot more quickly "sweetie I know your parents said to hide your autism but why did you never say anything when you came here for an interview" Charlotte asks you "I was used to not saying anything, my parents always said to not make anyone aware of it, I was made to feel ashamed of it by them, I was diagnosed at 4 with autism and my parents never treated me the same again after that" you explained to them feeling safe by the blanket and hearing Charlottes heartbeat. "Okay, we understand now that we know we can help you and support you okay" Marjorie says to you and looks at you and wonder how someone can tell you to hide a piece of you "Lottie" you ask "yeah sweetie" she replies "can we go to the sensory room" you ask her "sure sweetie but why" she asks why looking at Marjorie, she new that all the children who attend the setting that are autistic love the sensory room and also knew that you loved it and know she knows why "its relaxing and the room is safe and the patterns and lights are pretty" you explain to them both "sure lets go" Marjorie and her say together and set off to the room with you in between them. 

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