Found

Self Esteem

Tobin POV

I woke up on the lifeguard stand. I guess after last night I hadn't bothered to move. I stumbled back into my house and was faced with a million questions.
"I was at the beach, time just got away from me." I explained.
"We're you alone?" Kelley asked.
I hesitated, "No." I say.
"Guys give us a second." She said to JJ and Ash.
"Tobs, what are you gunna do?" She said.
"I don't know." I said walking away.
"Tobin, you need to confront your problems."
"Nah that's alright, I'm not very good and the whole confronting thing. You know, avoid, ignore, run away, these strategies have worked very well for me." I said.
"Yeah well I don't see this one going away." She said.
"Yeah well I don't think I have the confidence to even look her in the eye Kel."
"What are you talking about? You're Tobin Heath! Why do you suddenly lack a self esteem?"
"You've been saying this whole time Kel, she's different."
"Well I still think you should do something."
"Alright Kel can we just take a break from all this shit and just, play some music that parents won't want their kids to buy?" I asked with a smirk.
"Always." She responded. She called the other two in and we set up.
"Ready?" I asked. They nodded and we started playing the song we'd been working in about a week ago.

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over, I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert

Now I know I'm being used
That's okay, man, 'cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay 'cause I got no self esteem

We make plans to go out at night
I wait 'til 2 then I turn out the light
This rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

When she's saying that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah

Now I'll relate this little bit
That happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and looking to score

Now I know I should say "No"
But that's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

When she's saying that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah

"Tobs, what the hell was that song about?" Kelley asked.
"Oh member when I was seeing that girl...um, Sophie?" She nodded
"Remember what a bitch she was?" We all laughed.
"Yeah well Casanova over there slept with her." I pointed to Ash. She looked down.
"Ash, don't worry about it, she was the biggest mistake of my life, you gave me a reason to get rid of her." I laughed and Ash looked relieved.
"I never liked her." Kelley said.
"Yeah well you've only liked one girl I've dated." I said.
"Yeah, because only one was good for you." Kelley gave me a smack upside the head as we walked into the living room.
For the rest of the day we just kinda lounged around the house until about 8 o'clock. My phone started to ring.
"Hello?" A shaky voice responded.
"T-Tobin?" It asked.
"Yeah yeah it's me, Alex?"
"Yeah. Are you b-busy?" She said.
"No no. What's going on Lex are you ok?"
"Could you just come to the park?" She said.
"I'm on my way."
I ran out of the house as fast as I could and to the park by her house. I looked around until I saw her curled up in a bench. I sprinted over to her.
"Alex what the hell is going on?" I said. She sat up.
"M-my my dad was sent t-to prison."