Found

Sorry

Tobin POV

I walked to the coffee shop Ali told me to meet her in. I saw her in a booth near the back to I walked over to her. She saw me and stood up.
"Hey Ali." I said putting my hand out to shake hers, she pulled me into a hug instead. We sat down.
"So how was the tour?" She asked.
"Good good, lot of fun." She nodded her head and sipped her coffee.
"Why'd you come back here Tobin?" She asked. I was taken a back, she seemed genuinely curious, but also like she had an ulterior motive.
"Um I guess we just didn't wanna your right then." I said.
"That it?" She said.
"Why do you mean?" I asked.
"You sure you didn't come back here for Alex?"
"How was I supposed to know Alex would still be here?" I said.
"I don't know, but I think you did." She said.
"Listen," she started, "Brianna is a nice, sweet, kind girl, and not that you aren't nice, just maybe not for Alex."
"The fuck does that mean?" I said.
"It means you shouldn't be with her." She said.
"Listen Tobin, I like you. You're a great musician, a cool person, and you know how to have a good time. Maybe too good. Alex is my best friend. I don't want her getting hurt."
"Neither do I." I said.
"Then why'd you hurt her?" She asked.
"You don't know the whole story, and neither does she." I said through gritted teeth.
"We don't need to."
"Ali I love her."
"Yeah you made that quite clear when you cheated on her."
"I never cheated on her!" I yelled. Heads turned towards us so we dropped to a whisper.
"Tobin, it's been four years, and she still talks about you like you put the fucking stars in the sky. You really meant something to her. But you ruined her."
"I didn't want to."
"That doesn't matter."
"Ali listen, I love her with all my heart, and I'm working on getting her back."
"Aren't you swing someone?" She asked. I dropped my head.
"Thought so." She stood up.
"I love her. Ok she's my best friend, I only want the best for her. And I don't think that's you." She said.
"That's what I want too. I want her to be safe, and happy." I said.
"You really love her?" Ali asked. I nodded my head.
"You really want her to be happy?" She said. I nodded again.
"Good, then make her and I happy. By staying the hell away from her." She walked out without looking back. On my walk back to my house I got to thinking. Maybe Ali was right. I mean I don't have the best record, and Alex is so fantastic, she probably did deserve someone better than me. Someone who can give her everything I can't. Maybe I'm not the one for her. I got home to find no one else there. I went to my room and laid down on the bed. I picked up my guitar and started to strum. After about three hours I finally had a song I liked. I write the lyrics down and put the papers in my back pocket. I went outside to the porch and sat in one of the chairs. It was 7:30, starting to get dark. I was lying down across two chairs when I heard foot steps coming up the stairs. Assuming it was Kelley I spoke.
"Hey where were you?" I asked.
"Missing you." The voice responded and laughed. I looked up to see Alex.
"You left your jacket and house at my place, thought I'd bring it back." She said as she put them over the coffee table.
"Thanks." I said sitting up.
"She looked at me and her eyes went wide. I couldn't understand why until she spoke.
"You should quit smoking." She said noticing the lit cigarette hanging from my mouth. I felt her looking at me as clouds of smoke tumbled out of my open lips.
"Why?" I asked not looking her in the eyes.
"Because it'll kill you." She said like it was obvious, which, in all fairness, it was. She took the seat next to me. I tilted my head up and blew smoke towards the stars.
"I'm gunna die sooner or later anyway." I said with a sigh.
"Are you ok?" She asked after a long pause.
I finally looked over to her, "I don't think we should see each other." I said taking another drag.
"W-why not Tobin?" She asked.
"You shouldn't be with me." I said, stone cold.
"What does that mean?" She said.
"It means that we're different people Lex. Too different. That we aren't good for each other. Trust me, I'll fuck you over, you'll be heart broken, I'll apologize and the same thing will happen. You don't get it." I said.
"I'm not a child Tobin, I can take care of myself." She said.
"No, apparently you can't, because you keep crawling back to the same thing that broke your heart countless times." I said with more anger.
"Well excuse me for trying to trust you!" She said. I looked at her leaned to her. Our faces dangerously close.
"Don't trust people like me. I'll take you to museums and parks and monuments, and I'll kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I'll fucking destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you'll understand why storms are named after people." I leaned back and glanced at her, still sat in the chair.
"You don't mean a word of that." She said. I swear I did a double take.
"What?" I asked.
"You don't mean that. You're just scared." She said just a live a whisper.
"Alex I'm not the forever type. One day I'll ask you to teach me to dance. And in the middle of making a fool of myself I'll look down at you and say, 'God you're intelligent, not just smart, but intelligent.' And I'll say it like there's a huge fucking difference. Somewhere along the line I'll make you fall in love. Not the real kind. Not the take your breath away, heart racing kind. And the worst thing I'll do is make you think you have a special place in my heart. I'll call you at 3am or 3pm or in the middle of dinner. I'll call and your heart will lurch and you'll swoon. You'll laugh and pretend like it didn't hurt when I forgot to show up last weekend. When I call you'll drop your pride like you dropped the silverware that fell to the floor as you were sprinting out the door to come see me. And as you stand on my front porch waiting for me to answer the door. You'll look yourself over and smooth out your hair. You'll chew your lip harder with ever passing second as you hear me making my way to the door. And I'll open it and you'll give me a wide smile and I'll say, 'Hey cmon in, I'm teaching my friend to dance.'" I stood up in frustration.
"Tobin I don't know what you're doing but stop it." Alex said sounding scared.
"Lex the less time that I spend with you the less you'll need to heal." I said.
"You know what, come with me." I led her to the garage and sat down at the piano. I pulled the papers from my locker and started to play.

Don't go to war for me
I'm not the one that you want me to be
Don't call me up at 2 a.m. tonight
It feels so damn good and I wish you would

Are we just gonna stay like this forever, floating
I'm serious, my heart is furious
Cause I'm so confused when we're together
Feels like I'm choking, these emotions
I know I'm gonna let you down
So don't hold your breath now
Bittersweet in your mouth
Can you stomach the doubt?
I wish I could say what I'm feeling
I'm scared to let these words out

Don't go to war for me
I'm not the one that you want me to be
Don't call me up at 2 a.m. tonight
It feels so damn good and I wish you would
And don't cry no more for me
Don't waste your time convincing me
That maybe someday we'll get it right
Cause we never could, I wish that we would

But we won't, so just don't
We won't, so just don't
But we won't, so just don't
Don't

I can't trust you
Baby, cause I don't want to
This isn't fun anymore
Never hurt like this before
Broken dishes on the floor
Hearts exploding
Tell me why I'm still holding
Onto the love that we've been breaking
Damn, I thought we'd make it
No other way to say it
Don't, don't, don't

Don't go to war for me
I'm not the one that you want me to be
Don't call me up at 2 a.m. tonight
It feels so damn good and I wish you would
And don't cry no more for me
Don't waste your time convincing me
That maybe someday we'll get it right
Cause we never could, I wish that we would

We burn faster than a cigarette in my mouth
I know it hurts, but baby, we can't stop now
Baby, we can't stop now

Don't go to war for me
I'm not the one that you want me to be
Don't call me up at 2 a.m. tonight
It feels so damn good and I wish you would
And don't cry no more for me
Don't waste your time convincing me
That maybe someday we'll get it right
Cause we never could, I wish that we would

But we won't, so just don't
We won't, so just don't
But we won't, so just don't
Don't
Don't
Don't

I looked up at her and tears were pouring down her face, but they were pouring down mine too. Surprisingly, she flung herself into my arms.
"Tobin I still don't know what you're doing but I'm so scared. I'm scared because right now, you don't feel like home. Please Tobs, if you love me, don't let me go." She sobbed into my chest. I can't even begin to describe how hard this was.
"I'm so sorry Alex." I whispered.
"Tobin..." She trailed off.
"Alex, the less time that I spend with you, the less you'll need to heal." I said.
"Baby..." She said as she locked her head up. I started to cry more. I shook my head.
"I'm sorry."