Random Oneshots

All These Years - Camren

"You're hair's grown a little longer
Your arms look a little stronger
Your eyes just as I remember (oh)
Your smile's just a little softer."

I sing out in the studio. I was finally recording the song that held different kinds of emotions. Some for Lauren and well some for my childhood and the events. This was me reflecting on myself. Myself and the progress I made.

"And I, and I never prepared for a moment like that
Yeah, in a second it came all back, it all came back
'Cause after all these years
I still feel everything when you are near
And it was just a quick "Hello," and you had to go."

The memories rush my head of all the good times Lauren and I had. Alone or with the girl. All of our memories was definitely something to be cherished. I loved putting that smile on her face and to hear her laugh.

Brings me back to the day when I saw Lauren at Jingle Ball. We settled things between us. She was completely understanding to why I left the group. It made me happy that I was making a pathway to connecting with the girls again. I even let Lauren leave with my jacket that night, because she needed it way more than I did.

"And you probably will never know
You're still the one I'm after all these years
(Oh yeah.)"

Or maybe it's just my undying love for the gorgeous girl. I would honestly do anything for that girl.

"Couldn't help but overhear you
Sounds like you're happy with her
But does she kiss you like I kissed you?
Ooh, I wish I loved you like I miss you."

When I saw and heard that Lauren kissed Lucy it hurt. That was a complete arrow to my heart. At the moment when I figured it out I just wanted to hurt her as bad. Yet I had a few problems with that.

1. I love Lauren Jauregui no matter what.

2. I have no clue if she loves me like I love her.

3. If she's happy then I'm happy. No matter how much it hurts.

Instead of trying to get back at Lauren I settled with writing about my feelings. Which explains a few of my songs on my album soon to be and new releases I have. This moment helped me write the last few parts to my new releases. It was the main theme. Even helped me decide on my possible title name.

"The Hurting, The Healing, The Loving."

Well that or I'm considering to self-entitle it or something else. I'll decide in the near future.

"And I, yeah, I never prepared for a moment like that
Yeah, in a second it all came back, it all came back."

After the whole Lucy and Lauren thing, things changed. Lauren got distant from Lucy and Lauren would call me late night. Her excuse was to talk and get things off her mind. Yet one night I faked like I was sleeping.

—————————Flashback—————————

"Camz? Camz are you sleeping? Camila?" The green eyed girl sighs. "You look just as beautiful sleeping as you do awake. I miss being able to hold you at night. Listening to you snoring softly from how tired you are." Her voice cracks at the end and I hear the sniffles.

"I wish I would just tell you that I miss you like crazy. Not being next to you hurts me. Sometimes I feel like you hate me, but that's not the biggest fear I have. The biggest fear I have is that you will run once I mention it. I can't risk not hearing your voice anymore. I love when you say my name or call me Lolo." She breaks down crying. This pained me to hear and see.

"Camila I love you. I love you so fucking much. It scares me, but at the same time it's so damn thrilling. That's actually why I call you every night. Just to fall asleep with the love of my life on the phone. It's nothing compared to the physical contact, but it's something. Anyways I'll let you sleep my pretty little princess."

————————End Flashback ————————

The next morning I woke up with a adorable good morning message from her. Also she was still on FaceTime sleeping. Awh she looked so cute it warmed my heart. I decided to send her back a good morning text. Then I snapped a few picture of the cute little nugget sleeping. This all continued and honestly I was the happiest person on earth.

"'Cause after all these years
I still feel everything when you are near
And it was just a quick "Hello," and you had to go
And you probably will never know
You're still the one I'm after all these years, oh
'Cause after all these years
I still feel everything when you are near (you are near)."

I really did feel everything when Lauren was near. I had the need and want to kiss her. Or have some sort of contact with her. I made her watch the Harry Potter series with me. The older girl didn't mind at all as long as she was spending time with me I guess.

No worries we did what my green eyed queen wanted too. We would have library dates and get Starbucks. Watch Disney movies with our siblings and sing them. We did go out and dance in the rain a few times that it did rain.

Other times we would just sit in each others presences. This led to me finding out that Lauren would draw me while I was playing guitar and singing or reading. She also had random videos of me on her phone when I would be goofing around and just singing some One Direction song. Or any song for that matter. Some of the songs like James Arthur's song Say You Won't Let Go. I would sing it like I wrote it for her.

When she would have to go home or I was traveling we would FaceTime at bedtime. Not that it was always consistent. She always wanted me to sing that song. She told me it was peacefully and soothing. Ugh I just wish she would admit she likes me. This friendship thing I don't think I can do much longer.

I want to admit to her, because yeah I know she likes me. Yet it's this one but in the back of my head where I just think I'm crossing a line. I don't want her to feel pressured. I want my babygirl to feel 100% comfortable and know that I love her more than anything.

"I never told you, I should've told you
I never told you after all these years
Told you, I never told you (told you)
Told you, I never told you
I never told you after all these years."

I look down once I finish the song. I take the headphones off and look out to the studio. They give me a thumbs up and I leave from the recording booth. I had a small smile on my face. I walk towards the couch in the studio and lay down.

I hear footsteps walking towards me. I can smell my favorite scent in the whole wide world. My heart starts racing and a zoo is released in my stomach it feels like.

"Baby you okay?" I look up and nod my head. "Camz, I love you always."

"Always Lolo." I reply back as she leans down to kiss me. She smiles into the kiss and I pull away.

"So there is only 2 more songs about me right?" I laugh at her. "Babe I'm serious I don't like hearing the hurt I caused you." Lauren whines as she scoops me up into her arms.

"All that means is that you need to make up for it. That's in more way than one." I smirk at her.

"If you are suggesting sex you don't have to ask me twice. Maybe you should write about that instead." Lauren winks at me. I roll my eyes as I lean in to kiss her again.

"Cabello time to run again." Lauren and I both groan.

"You are all mine's later." Lauren growls in my ear. I kiss her quick and leave her lap. I sway my hips knowing she watching me walk away.

"Camz. Not fair." I smile to myself knowing I have the upper hand to her.

God do I love Lauren Jauregui.