Always On My Mind

Chapter 33- Asking For Forgiveness

Niall bent down and scooped me in his arms, leaving the guy alone and hurt on the ground.

He sat me down by a nearby stream and sat beside me.

“Jasmine, please let me explain,” I heard Niall say.

I didn’t want to look at him right now. He disgusts me, even if he did save me from nearly being raped. He still cheated.

Then, Niall gently picked up my chin with his hand.

I hesitantly looked into his gorgeous blue eyes. Those eyes are killers; I would know. “What do you want?” I hissed at him.

“I want to apologize. Jasmine, just give me a minute to explain.”

“No. Niall,” I started, putting my head back in my knees. “I want to go back home.” I said, barely audible to hear.

“What?” He asked, not being able to hear my inaudible voice.

Tears formed at the rims of my eyes. I looked up at Niall to see tears in his eyes also. “I want to go home.” I said, more firmly this time.

“We can go back home. The flat is only two blocks away."

“No, Niall. I. Want. To. Go. Home. You’ve already hurt me twice. I don’t want to stay here anymore. I want to go back to Chicago.”

 “Jasmine,” he said, holding my chin once again. Then, he kissed my lips softly.

I pulled away, not wanting to be near him right now. Still, I was stupid enough and I looked into his beautiful blue marbles as he gazed into my hazel ones. “I need to explain to you.”

“What is there to explain? You and Danielle kissed. End of story.”

“No, just- please. Listen. I was fixing everything up for our date and Danielle came up and asked if I needed any help. I accepted, but she was getting kind of close. I didn’t think it was much because I’m dating you and she’s dating Liam; she was just being friendly. But then she kissed me. I tried pushing her away but her grip on my waist was really tight. That’s what happened.”

“Why should I believe you? You lied last time.” I sniffled.

“Please. Just give me another chance. I know I didn’t tell you the truth last time, but this time, I’m telling the truth. I wouldn’t do that to you again. Or Liam; he’s my best mate and that’s his girl. She's obviously off-limits.” He never dropped his gaze, unlike last time he cheated on me, so I knew it was sincere.

“Niall-" He cut me off by kissing me again.

He lay me down in the grass and hovered over me. He pulled away, and said, “Jasmine, I need to tell you something.”

“What?” I said with no emotion.

“I think- I think-“

“What do you think?”

“I think I love you. It’s okay if you don’t love me back but all I know is that I love you. I feel like you need to know that. I really do. Jasmine, I love you.” He declared.

I was so shocked. I took a second to process this. I couldn't love him back, I just couldn't. He hurt me two times too many. Yes, I have feelings for him- strong, strong feelings- but I couldn't love him. I can't love anyone except for my family. Every time I say I love someone, something goes wrong.

"Niall, I-"

"I'm not pressuring you."

"I don't know what to say. I like you, I really really like you, and I want to love you. I just don't know if I can trust you anymore. But I really like you," I repeated.

“Really?” He said, surprised.

“Really.”

“So, does this mean we’re back together?” he asked hopefully.

My face dropped. “Niall, I don’t know.”

“Please, Jasmine.”

I didn’t know what else I could say. I cared for him and now I know I nearly love him. I couldn’t imagine myself without him. I just nodded my head.

“Thank you, Jasmine.” He said, hugging me. He pecked my lips and cheeks. “Thank you. Thank you.” he said between pecks.

I just smiled slightly. “Come on, let's go home.” I said, getting up. I brushed my dress free of leaves and grass.

“Does that mean you’re not going back to America, then?”

“Yeah. I’m staying. But next time, I don't care what happens or who starts it. All I know is that I'm going to finish it, with you.” I said.

He nodded his head understandingly.