Always On My Mind

Chapter 48- Making Decisions

Today, I woke up and I was planning to spend yet another day in bed, dying from depression. Something inside me told me that I shouldn't do that, though. I felt like I should actually try to act normal, because I shouldn't be falling in depression over some guy. But that guy happened to be the the guy I love. Nonetheless, I put on an outfit and actually fixed my hair for the first time in a week, instead of wearing a messy bun (external link). I went downstairs and saw Niall sitting on the couch, watching TV and eating some Nando’s chicken left over from the night before. I slowly walked over to where he was sitting and sat down next to him, but not too close.

“Where’s everyone else?” I asked, trying to act like it wasn’t awkward.

“They all went shopping. They went earlier in the morning so they wouldn't get mobbed by fans.” He hissed.

“Why didn’t you go with them?”           

“I didn’t want you staying here by yourself.” He hesitantly mumbled.

I looked into his eyes. Why did he want to be with me here? Did he still care for me? No. He was making out with Cheryl, and he doesn’t even talk to me. He couldn't give a rat's ass about me.

“Thanks.” I said, emotionlessly.

"Jasmine, we need to talk."

“We are talking." I growled.

He started getting annoyed. "You know what I mean, Jasmine." He turned his body towards me. "I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for what I did at the party.”

“Ok." I didn't even look at him. I wasn't going to say that I forgive him, because I definitely didn't.

“And I think we should get back together.” He stated very quickly.

My eyes went wide with shock and my chest tightened. “Uh, Niall, I really don’t think that’s the best-”

 “Please, Jasmine! I still love you and I know you still love me too. If you didn’t, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation right now.”

“Niall, I do still love you. But you’ve hurt me far too many times.”

“I know. And I’m so sorry but I was drunk and stupid.”

“I don’t care if you-”

He stopped my sentence with a kiss. This kiss was different than any that I've ever shared with Niall. It was longing and grasping as if I might disappear from him forever.

When he pulled away, he was slightly smirking. “Does that change your mind?” He asked.

“Uh…”

“Come on, Jasmine. Please. I love you and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” he persuaded.

I couldn’t think. My head was spinning round and round. I didn’t know what to do. I had to make a decision. “I… I…” He hurt me way too many times, and Liam actually cared about me. He said Niall treated me wrong and I deserve better. He’s right, but I still love Niall. And I also said I’d give Liam a chance. He deserved it; he could treat me right. But I still cared for Niall. “I think need some water.” I said, panting and rubbing my temples.

“Jasmine, please, answer me. You have a decision to make. It's simple; do you want me or not?” He started shouting.

"It's not that easy." I yelled as I got up to go get a glass of water. My vision was blurred and I was having trouble breathing, and I prayed to God that it wasn't an asthma attack. I couldn’t see anything.; only thoughts swimming around my head. Niall was right. I did have to make a decision. Niall or Liam? I stumbled over my own feet, and I had to lean against a wall just to find my balance again.Then, I tripped over something and hit my head on the corner of a table. I felt something dripping down my head over my eye. I reached up, and when I brought my hand down again, it was red with blood.

“Jasmine!” I heard Niall scream.

Then all I saw was darkness.