ONE WEEK LATER:
Tyree left to go to my brother's birthday trip to America a couple days ago and I've been trying to keep myself busy because I for some reason can't stop thinking about him. I haven't spoken to him since our phone arguement last week when he said I'm nothing more than his boys sister. Since then I've been throwing up a lot of indirects on my Instagram but I guess he still hasn't felt the need to apologise.
Demari: where are you going?
Me: I'm going to meet Marcus for a few hours.
Demari: J what are you doing today?
Jamal: I have work in an hour why?
Demari: I need a friend to help me out with something tonight.
They both started staring at each other as if they were speaking with their minds. Then Jamal looked at me.
Jamal: na I'm good. That's not me.
Demari: don't do this to me please?
Jamal: na. I'm out. Ask Joshua.
Demari: kool
He kissed his teeth taking his phone out to call someone whilst walking to his room. Me and jamal both sat in an awkward silence until he looked up at me again.
Me: what was that about?
Jamal: nothing, don't worry.
I know demari enough to know he was talking about linking females I just wanted to know if Jamal would tell me that.
Me: you're single. Don't let me stop you from living your life.
Jamal: what makes you think you're the reason I said no?
Me: you looked at me before you said it.
Jamal: how's your assignment going?
Me: fine, how's yours?
Jamal: same. 2 more weeks to go then we're finished.
Me: right.
Jamal: so you can finally stop meeting with him.
Me: you need to stop acting like you don't want to talk to him.
Jamal: we spoke about this already. I'm done with him.
Me: you can't blame him for something you did.
Jamal: why are you defending him?
I stopped as he pulled a stool up to mine so we were sitting right opposite each other.
Me: I'm not. I just don't want you to throw away a good friendship over something so little.
Jamal: it's kool. I know what I'm doing.
Me: alright fine, have fun at work today. I gotta go.
I stood up grabbing my bag only for him to pull my arm pulling me to stand in-between his legs.
Jamal: can you meet me for lunch later on?
Me: depends, are you paying?
Jamal: well I only pay for dates so that's up to you?
I laughed shaking my head, since we broke up he's been trying to throw hints but I'm still sticking by my decision.
Me: okay fine. I'll come to work at lunch and we can go out... As friends.
Jamal: kool. I'll take that.
**
Jamal: can I ask you a question?
Me: what is it?
Jamal: did you still mess around with your ex while we were together?
Me: why are you asking me this?
Jamal: because we're no longer together so you have no reason to lie and I want to know the truth.
Me: would it make you look at me differently?
Jamal: so you did then?
Me: I didn't say that.
Jamal: just answer my question.
Me: maybe. But I never had sex with him.
Jamal: so all those times you slept in the same bed when you went back home and you told me it was nothing, you were messing around?
Me: no, just once. We were both tipsy.
Jamal: and that was romaes birthday right?
I slowly nodded putting my fork down since I no longer wanted to eat.
Me: you knew?
Jamal: yes because I know when you're lying and I asked you the next day why you were ignoring my messages and you decided to tell me some bullshit.
Me: because I know I messed up.
Jamal: I appreciate your honesty now though.
Me: so what's going to happen?
He shrugged his shoulders whilst maintaining eye contact with me.
Jamal: all I know is, I'm done with love. That shit isn't for me.
Me: I still love you Jamal. I just tried to move on from my last relationship too soon.
Jamal: so have you gotten over him now?
Me: not quite.
Jamal: how long will I have to wait?
Me: I don't know if I'm ready to do that again.
Jamal: just let me know.
**
Vanessa: you're too good for him anyway, I already told you this. He doesn't know what he's passing up on.
Me: it's fine. I'm okay.
Not long ago Vanessa caught me in my room crying my eyes out because I was watching romaes Instagram story of them all in an American strip club doing a whole lot. I know I'm the whole reason me and Tyree are constantly arguing but I still can't act like the things he does doesn't affect me. And I still don't understand why I'm reacting like this when I've been with Jamal since we broke up and I know tyrees talking to somebody else.
Vanessa: I told you, all you've gotta do is find out the name of the phonecall girl and I'll find her.
Me: no. I don't want to do that. I just want to get over him completely.
Vanessa: well you can't do that by checking up on him to see what he's doing everyday.
Me: I can't help it.
Vanessa: maybe you should talk it out and get some closure.
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